Today I am Thankful for Divorce

Today I am thankful for Divorce.

Now I realize to everyone DIVORCE is a bad word, a terrible thing to go through, and somewhat of a “Scarlet Letter” when it comes to our society. I am here to tell you, it is the wings of freedom for many who have found themselves in the purgatory of a poor decision. I admit when people used to say “these people take the easy way out” I truly thought they were right, I thought that these “divorced monsters” were not willing to “go the extra mile” they were just “fair weather married people”.

The unspoken truth by everyone that has had to tell a Judge that they just “can’t” anymore is that divorce could quite possibly be a savior for ones soul. For all of us that have lain next to the one we thought we would spend the rest of our lives with, and felt so alone, we know that it was sink or swim, and for those of you who don’t know, you just don’t.   

My love and I were both divorced before we met, and as we talked the other night about what the demise of our marriage was, I picture him in the position he was in, and I pictured what life would be like for me if I had stayed where I was, and I had an overwhelming thought…. What if you could not get divorced?

I looked at J, and thought how unhappy he would be, and thought how miserable I would be, and then I went further, and thought of every “DIVORCED” person I knew, and how crazy they would be, and then I thought…. THANK GOD FOR DIVORCE!

There is a difference between going through a rough patch in a relationship, and going through “hell”, I know that.  I am saying if your soul tells you this is “hell”, even God himself would not expect you to stick around. Divorce is a terrible thing to endure, but a lifetime of payment for a poor choice, is beyond terrible. Today I salute Divorce.

Now, run out and get a divorce, and start living your life…… Just kidding, but if you are in a position that is your “hell”, there is no reason to stay.

When I removed myself from my marriage, I realized that some things were my fault and some were his, but it wasn’t about being “right” anymore, it was about not being “wrong”, and we were “wrong”.

“We pulled into my mom’s driveway, and I looked at him for a long time, and he looked at me. I needed to say so many things but, the talking had already been done, and I didn’t have anything to give to him. Years of arguing and debating and winning and losing had taken a toll on both of us, we were done. I said “I love you, and I know that you love me, I am not the right woman for you, and you are not the right man for me, this is not working, and I cannot do it anymore” and it was done. Tears poured out of his face, as I got out of the car and he pulled away. I sat and stared for an hour before I left for Crystal Lake, I didn’t call anyone, I didn’t need anyone, I wanted to be home, and Bloomington was no longer where my home was.

So, I drove to Crystal Lake, and as I pulled into my driveway, I thought of what I had put myself through over the years, and it made me sad. I was sad for the way I had treated myself and I vowed that day to never be unhappy again, not like that at least. I told myself that I would treat myself kindly when it came to tolerating behaviors of others and never sacrifice my beliefs. I walked through my door, and everything looked different, I was thankful for my life, and where I was in it. I knew it would be difficult to divorce him, but that was just a day I had already divorced him in my mind. He wasn’t good enough for me, I knew that before all of this, I settled for him and I would never settle again.”- Liz