“I’d Rather be Rich than Right”

I’d Rather Be “Rich” Than “Right”

This is my ALL time favorite saying. Harry Freidman said it in one of his “many” sales trainings which I was lucky enough to be enlightened by. This is such a valuable statement, yet most people don’t understand it, and certainly don’t live by it. This concept is very profitable in business, mainly because the EGO makes so many decisions in our workforce, the EGO makes us long to be “right” all the time. This concept accounts for all the “good” and bad decisions made in the workforce or at the very least 99% of them. For those “leaders” and “leadees” out in the market that “get” this concept have a strong tendency to succeed, and for those who do not, they usually fail, and are miserable in the process. This goes for personal life too, but for now we will keep it in business mode….  

Now, who hasn’t had a boss, or a direct report that needs to prove CONSTANTLY that they know more than you do? They are always “right” and you are always “wrong”, and even when it proves beyond a reasonable doubt that you were in fact “right”, they blame it on wrong information, or a “wrong” circumstance. Either way, “someone else was wrong”; with the wrong information they were given, they still made the “right” decision based on the “wrong” something or someone that they were fed.  

Who hasn’t had a customer say “the customer is always right”?

WE ALL KNOW THAT THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, and here is how we ALL know it, WE ARE ALL CUSTOMERS, AND AT SOME POINT WE HAVE BEEN WRONG…. You do the math… Therefore we dig a little deeper into the statement….

The reason this statement worked so well in the service industry is it says to our Ego, “hey, come here, and I will give you your most prized possession… YOU WILL BE RIGHT 24/7… Never EVER wrong”. This was brilliant of who ever made this statement up, I seriously doubt it was created in the “broad”sense I am suggesting, but what better way to get people into your business, than to tell them that they are “perfection” if they only shop at YOUR store, they are basically a temporary “Christ Child”… For the thirty minutes that it takes to buy a car these days. SMART!

Let US learn from the used car salesmen that made this up…. If you let people be “right” instead of “human”, they will flock toward you. They will throw money at you. They will take anything you give them. They will be loyal to you…. Bosses and Clients together will be drawn to you, not because you are misleading or manipulating them, but they will respect your humility and it will create an environment for positive change and advancement.

Who hasn’t found themselves making a stink about something that is completely irrelevant to the successes of the business, or to the quality of the work environment?

The best example of this I can give is I was sitting with a few self-named “republicans” a few months ago, discussing politics and the “rights” and “wrongs” in our government  system. Thinking back now, anyone who has gone to the trouble and through the commitment of naming themselves a “party” most likely will not change their mind because of something that I say, especially when I am saying that they are wrong and I am right. I have not gone through the trouble of naming myself a democrat nor a republican, mostly because I am afraid that I will stop seeking thoughts of my own.   Secretly,  I feel this is what  happens to most of these “party joiners”. Furthermore, I feel like it is the easy way out ; a chance to not have to contemplate.  I almost consider it a sorority or fraternity of some sort. All of that aside, I felt this overwhelming need to tell them that they were wrong, and dissect what their thought process problem was. In the end, they ended up hating me. As a matter of fact, I ruined a relationship, not only for myself, but for someone I love. The truth is, I was right about everything I said, and still believe that they were wrong about everything that they said but, instead of letting life teach them a lesson, in the end life taught me a lesson - Don’t stand up and fight for something that is not my battle, and do not try to change minds, minds can’t be changed, they only change themselves. Their minds were changed alright, just not about tax cuts and religious rights, but about me.

Lesson? Do not try to change minds, they only change themselves

This in the business world would be a great example of when you get a new boss, and he/she thinks that she has a MONUMENTAL new way of doing something, and you after working there for however long you have, know FOR SURE it won’t work, no way, no how….. Sometimes the lesson is not yours to learn, it is time for life to teach your new boss- don’t be afraid to let life humble someone for a change. Same with your employees, they are sure it will work, they know they are right; if it doesn’t hurt your bottom line, let life teach them a lesson. Same with a customer or client, if you have understood where they are coming from, told them your concerns, let them fly, they will respect you, and come back to you.  

In business there is a technique to use empathy, use statements like
“I understand”

“I appreciate”

“I recognize”

“I value”

This is a way to tell the customer, boss, or employee that you “get” what they are saying, you know where they are coming from, on to the next…..

Then you are to say “My concern is….” this is a good way to acknowledge that there is an issue and transition to your “issue”. Never saying words like “but, except, excluding, bar, however, although, nevertheless, apart from”, which then discounts your acceptance of their “issue”.  Acceptance is a fancier word for being “right”.

This is a GREAT way to communicate with people that you are trying to make positive results with. Especially with the Boss that signs your paycheck, does it truly matter to you if you are “right” and he is “wrong”? (Unless there is an integrity issue, different story)

Does it matter if you know everything, and he/she knows nothing? No, he/she still signs you paycheck, and in the end, he will advance the person that makes his/her EGO feel better, it is just natural.

Perfect example… You are a teenager, your friends are all telling you that you are “right”, and your mother is telling you that you are “wrong”… Who do you want to hang with?  

Take it into personal life, same thing… Have you ever had a fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend that ends up out of hand because they JUST REFUSE to acknowledge that YOU WERE RIGHT and they WERE WRONG?

How can they not see this? How can they be so stupid?

Step back, you probably are “right” but rather than them be “wrong”, they will fight you to the death.

Boyfriend isn’t paying enough attention to you, you deserve more than this, rather than saying “Hey, I would like to see you a few more times this week if possible” you say “You are a bad boyfriend, you never spend time with me (i.e. you are wrong)” If he backs down now, he is admitting he was wrong, he doesn’t back down. Now he has to prove that he is right, instead of giving his energy to your needs. Non-Productive Conversation.

(NPC)

NPC- this is when you say a statement and rather than it moving a situation forward, it stays stagnant or reverses.

There are endless examples of NPC in the world today floating around…..

STOP NPC!

The Human Ego (or in this case we will call it brain, although I am sure by how strong the drive is, it has to do with the heart too) is constantly fighting to be “CORRECT”. This

Force is probably the strongest in our society today. There have been Wars started and carried on, just because someone cannot say that they were “wrong”, that is what we are dealing with. Families have broken apart, and businesses ripped to shreds, countries crumble, and hearts are broken everyday, all because there is something inside of us that cannot admit to being “not right”.

This is all very known…. books are written everyday about how to adjust our thinking this way.

Why not with all the knowledge of this “Plague” that damns our land do we NOT make the necessary steps to make it “work” for us? Why is it so hard to say…? “You’re right”

Taking this Personally…..

Have you ever been verbally attacked? You know, one of those where you know with 100% of your soul that you are not to blame….

First Reaction? Tell them EXACTLY how “wrong” they are….

Second Reaction? Tell them why you are so “right”…..

Third Reaction? Clean up the carnage…..

Now, when your core is attacked and you feel as though you are the only one that will stick up for you, ask yourself the question…. Would I rather be “rich” than “right”?

If you would rather be “right” than “rich” (meaning have them as a friend or family member) then let them have it, they are not of enough value anyway to you…..

I believe that under no circumstances are we able to change one another. We are only able to mold ourselves into what we want to be, which brings me to why argue and fight?, why prove to someone that you believe that they should change when they are the only one that can give that to themselves, yet our Ego steps up to the plate first?

Sometimes you have got to fire friends, fire bosses, fire customers, fire boyfriends and girlfriends, even fire family members, you do, they are toxic….. Sometimes the pain that they serve to you is unbearable, and YOU make that choice, it is not them. That is your “right”, and the only “right” you need, know that you are in charge of your own finality. You have the power, now all we need is the ability to know when to use it. Humility is the answer. Humility = Rich…..

I am very interested in your thoughts on this Subject; I believe it could make a huge difference in the world we live in. DON’T TELL ME I AM WRONG!!!