Etiquette…. Simple and Soft….

When I made this category months ago, I knew I wanted the pieces to be something that would somehow simplify this “overwhelming” process. I had to do some research to see what I did specifically, and what those I have always found “classy” do to make this less complicated. So over the last few months I have collected behaviors that either “turn on” or “turn off” the etiquette “vibe”.

Etiquette has NOTHING to do with money, nothing to do with royalty, and is not unachievable by anyone. It is simply a standard in which you hold yourself and others accountable. For the most part etiquette and manners lead us through everyday events, and remind us to be thoughtful of ourselves and others….. Etiquette doesn’t sound like a bad word to me.

1) Make each other comfortable…..

My Aunt Kate has always been very good at making someone feel “okay” about what ever they feel uncomfortable about. Whether it is what she is wearing or what she has chosen for her life’s career. She has always been able to find some way to have a common ground. She has always put Value in others (whether they deserved it or not), which has made others long to be around her. That sounds like something small, but look at it this way, when people long to be around you, you always feel special. Who doesn’t want that?

I was recently at a gathering, I had nothing in common with anyone there, I let people talk about what was important to them, why it was important to them and so on and so forth….. On and on, and before I knew it, I was having a great time. I wasn’t thinking about me, just them, and I didn’t regret it. I didn’t agree with half the things most were saying, but I didn’t feel any “drive” to tell them they were right or wrong. Why do we feel it is always our battle to fight? Let some people learn for themselves.

I have a friend that is addicted to alcohol. Anyone who has had this has either been let down, inconvenienced, disappointed, or negatively effected; it just goes with the territory. People have tried, myself included to “help” with her disease, it’s a “no go”. To me, it is worth it to still be her friend, hoping one fine day, no more worries, until then, I protect myself. BUT, I don’t take on the burden of fixing her, a fix that will not work until she starts fixing herself; I let her live her life, accepting the good and the bad. I guess that’s what I am saying…. ACCEPT the good the bad and most of all the different….

Going back to what I have done over the years, I think back to a time where I fought all the battles. If you were something I wasn’t, you were wrong, if you were something I was, you were right. Life was that cut and dry. Now looking back, I was a work-a-holic, right wing, know it all, that happened to be the “best” at everything I did (only because I did things I was good at), I was not close to my family, had almost no friends, and couldn’t stand most humans, all by choice, and if that sounds “right” to any of you, maybe you need to take as close of a look at yourself as I had to.

Times changed. Life humbled me with a divorce, and slowly but surely I was alone, on purpose. I sat down and realized that I was all wrong….. And that meant that for years I had thought everyone else was wrong, and “HOLY CRAP”, I had misjudged a lot of people. It was me that didn’t open my mind to the possibility that there are several different rights….. There are far more “rights” in the world than “wrongs”….. Hell, I thought divorce was wrong for years, and no one could have been proven more wrong than I was.

There are different ways to get from the beginning of your life to the end….. But we all somehow manage it, every single one of us…

More to come……

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy