I recently received a forwarded email about a woman that of late rediscovered what Christmas is really about, for the last few years she has hustled and bustled just like everyone else trying to get the exact amount of gifts for all her children, made sure it was enough to impress them on Christmas morning, all the while praying that it would be adequate to satisfy her beautiful children the morning of Christmas Day.
Reading this email brought me to tears, I know this woman as a friend of my sister’s who for all encounters has been nothing but kind, even in demeanor. To hear the pain in her words was immense; she had found an opportunity to examine herself and with the results was very disappointed. Instead of calling for excuses or blames she decided to share her failure as a Christian in hopes of not only changing her ways but allowing others to self analyze unselfishly through her own misguided and corrected journey. The story she told was of a family that was to have no Christmas. It still makes me feel somewhat choked up by her lack of ego, so I felt compelled to write on.
In telling this story we have seen the human heart open wider than ever expected, my sister was shopping for these little children on a very tight budget, while she was deciding between two shirts a stranger struck up a conversation, my sister ended up telling the story of this family and why she was having such a hard time picking the perfect gifts, the woman reached in her purse and offered her own gift to this foreign family. She never questioned once whether they deserved help or if she was the one that was obligated to take care of them. Just gave with an open heart. Sounds like Christmas to me!
As you all know, I am not Christian, but I do believe that Jesus walked our earth, I do believe that he was a beautiful leader, I believe that he is someone we should all follow with our behaviors to our human race, therefore I believe in Christmas. I think we cannot receive the beauty of this earth until we give beauty to it and I know that love cannot be received, just given. In turn, we must give this Christmas, to strangers, to friends, to enemies, to the human race, just as Jesus called for.
Giving does not necessarily mean that you have to get the latest Nintendo for your children, but give them the gift of knowing how to give to others, they will not be happy in their lives for the long term always having the best of the best, but they will be content in their lives if you teach them that it feels better to give than receive.
Have you ever heard that someone is buying you a gift for Christmas and rushed out to get them one? Come on, why are we giving? To receive? Please tell me “no”!
This begs the questions, what are we teaching our children about Christmas? What does Christmas mean to you? Why do you celebrate Christmas? How do you want your children’s children to view Christmas? Where is the love in Christmas?
If Christmas is just an exchange of goods on December 25th for you, I am here to ask you, WHY?
If you walk around stressed about Christmas to come, maybe you are not giving for the right reason. I have erased the names on this email below, just to protect anyone’s feelings, please read it, for Christmas’s sake.
My heart is with you on your journey,
Lizzy
Last night as I rushed into church in a hurry and deposited my son in his class, I came upon a situation that cut straight to my heart. In my excitement to get to class I almost overlooked my friend who was sitting quietly in a chair with her face covered, trying not to cry. I suppose as I hurried past I didn’t really expect an answer when I politely threw out “Hey nice to see you. How’s it going?”.
I stopped dead in my tracks when she lifted her head and replied “Not good, Not good at all”. As I turned to look at her my selfish heart sank because I knew once again I wouldn’t be making it to the adult class. I now realize God had a much bigger lesson he wanted to teach me.
My friend told me the past year has been a rough one (join the crowd right?) She left her abusive husband of 16 years because she was afraid her kids were starting to receive the heavy side of her husband’s hand. She has lived off and on with several friends the past year and her current situation is not the best (I’m leaving out details on purpose). Her soon to be ex-husband has gotten into Meth so she has had to go to court to stop his visitation rights. Her current significant other just got laid off from his job and because of the timing will not receive a check for unemployment until after Christmas. My friend actually said she wondered if she had hurt her kids more by leaving their abusive father.
This year there will be no presents for her son and daughter. She said she had faced tough times before. There had been years when Christmas was slim but this year Christmas just wasn’t going to be. It really hit her when she came into church and saw all the decorations and the angel tree. She really felt like her actions had ruined Christmas for her kids. She’s afraid of all the things her kids have endured their life long memory is going to be the year they didn’t have a father for Christmas and any presents.
I of course mentioned the angel tree program, the salvation army, and other charitable organizations. She said she was too late. There are deadlines for those places and she realized too late that there would be no money for presents. Her boyfriend had promised her his last check before Christmas would be for Christmas shopping. There is no check coming and she has not bought anything. I assured her we could find an answer and hustled off to class.
It wasn’t until I got home that the weight of what my friend told me really hit. Last night the boys and I dug out our favorite ornaments and hung them on the tree. We talked about all the programs, parties, and Christmas to come for us. We wrote letters to Santa and decided what to buy my husband for Christmas.
Hours later my husband and I set checking our lists for presents bought and presents yet to buy. All the time my friend and her little family were tugging at my heart. I had decided I would get her kids a few items and secretly give them to her. As I looked at the list of things we were getting the boys I felt a huge lump growing in my stomach. Here I was worrying if the dozen or so presents we bought the kids would be enough and my friend had nothing to count. I thought about all the Christmases when I panicked at the last minute and run from store to store buying whatever just so the kids would think they had a good Christmas. What had Christmas turned into for my family? Did the number of gifts really matter? Was finding and giving the perfect gift the ultimate pleasure for me? Was I ruining Christmas for my kids by focusing on the wrong thing?
I hardly slept last night. My friend’s words kept coming back to me. “I was too late”. Am I too late as well? My son has a friend he’s been asking to invite to church. I keep telling him we will when we’re less busy. What if I’m busy until Christ comes? What if I get to heaven and I stand before God and have to hang my head and say “Not good, not good at all” because I didn’t take the time to bring 1 more person to know His Saving Grace.
For the past 18 hours or so I’ve been wrestling with what to do about my friend’s family and my own. I still plan on helping my friend get some gifts for her kids. (Anyone else who wants to contribute please let me know.) As for my family we are going to have a long discussion this evening about how much God has done for us and what gifts we can give back to him this year. I wish I could go back a few years and stick to my parents tradition of 3 gifts. I hope it’s not too late for me to change Christmas for my family - as well as give a little love to my friend and her family.
As the pace quickens the next few weeks and we rush from function to function I hope we can keep the focus on God’s precious gift of eternal salvation that came down to us in the form of a baby.
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