When I first started this website I had a vision of making lives better. Somehow, helping lives one at a time. Yesterday I was watching T.V. and eating pork fried rice, and it hit me….. Why am I limiting myself? Just like we (as humans) constantly do, limit what we can accomplish by not stepping back and looking at the big picture… We have around 500 readers currently…. I thank you all for that.
What if those 500 readers could influence 2 people a day that would be 1000 people a day whose lives are better because Letscoffeetalk….. Actually 1,500 including the Coffee talkers….
This started me thinking of the power that we possess. Anyone that reads letscoffeetalk for more than ten seconds is most likely interested in either making themselves “better” or at least exploring “change”. This got me thinking about random things that make me happy.
If everyone on earth was able to help two or more people a day, the world would be a better place wouldn’t it? I don’t want you to get the wrong idea here, I am not getting to the point that we need to “give” more time or money to a charity, although, if you’ve got it, GODSPEED… I am talking about a far less intrusive venture….. Give what you have got already…. KINDNESS….
How many times have you heard someone say “I hate people”? I have heard it time and time again, especially working in sales. What I have found is people really don’t “hate” people; they hate what people make them feel like. What if we could change one by one the way people made other people feel like? I know we can.
If we were able to change the way we make people feel, then eventually the feeling of hatred would be gone right? What if by changing the way we make people feel, made us feel instantly better? Win, Win situation right?
So after this “thought” sat heavy on my brain all night long, I decided to try to make a list of ways to make others feel better……
But First…..
The MEAN PEOPLE….
So yeah, there are a lot of these people out there, the “budgers”, the “bitchers”, the “yellers”, the “know-it-alls”, the “snobs”, the “stuck-ups”, the “ignorers”, the “arguers”, the anal retentives”, the “judgers”, the “manipulaters”, the “liars”, the “stealers”, the “idiots”, the “who ever makes you feel badders”…….
PRETEND THEY ALL HAVE AN INCURABLE DISEASE….. AND THEY ARE TAKING IT OUT ON YOU BECAUSE THEY ARE GOING TO DIE SOONER THAN LATER…..
This will stop your EGO from taking it so personally, and then taking it out on someone else…. The fact is, these people are insecure, and that is almost an incurable disease that doesn’t allow you to live anyway, so they are dying…. This will make you feel sorry for them instead of ready to rip their head from their shoulders…. Puts you in control. I used this a lot in sales, and I must say, I was happier, and I was able to make a lot more people “happy” because I did not take it personally.
Back to Random ways to make people and yourself happier…….
1. Complimenting
Random compliments to random people…. One day at Starbucks I walked in feeling quite good about myself to get my standard latte, and be on my way. When I walked into line a lady stared me down with the crappiest look on her face, my first reaction was not good, I thought “who does this lady think she is, looking at me this way?”, but I did not react that way. I gave her “pretend cancer” in my mind, and searched for something I liked about her outfit. Her glasses were it! I said “Excuse me, your glasses are perfect for your face, I love them”, which I did, they looked great. She looked at me and tears welled up, she said “You have no idea how much I needed a compliment today, thank you”.
I could have reacted with my first instinct which was not nice, but instead, I made her day, and I felt so good about myself for not letting my stupid EGO make my move.
Complementing sincerely to random people at random times is one of the best charities we are able to give… Compliment, Compliment, Compliment…. Be sincere….
2. Give….
Give…. Not money, Not blocks of time, Not clothing, or Valuables, give random “gifts” to random people. Like your place in line at the grocery store to an old person, or a mother, or someone that has 10 items vs. your basket full. Give an extra chair that you aren’t using. Give someone your closer parking spot. Give someone a smile for no reason. Get the door for someone. Lift someone’s luggage into the overhead bin. GIVE, GIVE, GIVE….. Most importantly, don’t tally what you GIVE; tally what is given to you.
3. Thank YOU
What a powerful statement…. “Thank you”…. Thank every single person for everything. We are supposed to do it when we are five, but somehow we expect the world to serve us. Even worse, we think because we are paying for something we shouldn’t have to “thank” someone. When did Money = Thanks? It doesn’t.
Be thankful for the person who got up at 5 am to get your latte ready for you, especially when you know you were tucked deep into your bed dreaming of the latte you are about to receive. Be thankful for the 22 year old that watches 15 toddlers at your child’s daycare, especially when you know most people would lose their mind. Be thankful for the gas station attendant that passes through 100’s of people with a smile, but rarely gets one returned. Be thankful for the guy who lets you into traffic, and be thankful for the family that drives you nuts getting out the door. Most importantly, tell them “thank you”. Look every single person who gives you something in the eyes and tell them “Thank you”. Your money is not all a human being needs.
4. Open the Door
Open the door for everyone. This gives the impression that you are humble, and immediately humbles whom ever you come in contact with. It is a simple act that makes everyone feel good including the “opener”.
5. Old People
Old People deserve if for no other reason than surviving this world, kindness. Give them kindness, and kindness will be returned. Help them with their luggage, groceries, parking spots, and anything else that will make their stay here on earth more enjoyable. You will soon be there, your body will not perform like it once did, your mind not as sharp maybe, but one thing is for sure, you will be there, and when you are there, you will need someone like you to be kind.
6. Children
We preach…. Teach, teach, teach these little humans, but no one ever talks about Learn, Learn, Learn from these little creatures. Make one laugh, and you will laugh. Make a child smile and you will smile. They are free and they are influenced by the slightest things, if a stranger is kind to them, maybe one day, they will be kind to a stranger, and maybe that stranger will be you.
7. Control Your World
Remember when I said that we usually don’t hate people, we hate how people make us feel. There is really no way to control everyone on earth (contrary to popular belief), but there is a way to control how you deal with others….. Which changes the perspective all together; you can control your environment, which is the only thing you know anyway, so in your reality you can control everyone that you come in contact with. Your reaction is a choice. “He made me mad”, well, the way I look at it, you are really saying “I let him make me made”. “It makes me sick” really says “I let it make me sick”. “They offended me” means “I let them offend me”. “He hurt me” means “I let him hurt me”. My niece is 7 years old, right now she is having trouble grasping when something upsets her, that she is in fact in control of herself. As I watched her flip out because her mother was forcing her to wear an outfit that was not to “her Liking”, it hit me, she is letting this get the better of her, if she only had self discipline with her little emotions, she would get what she wanted. Well, she doesn’t, she let herself get so worked up that she made everyone miserable, and still had to wear the “bum” outfit. All because she can’t control own emotions yet! Now, she will learn, but for the rest of us, we don’t have being 7 as a “grand” excuse. Stop letting others make you “unkind”. You are in charge of your own kindness.
8. Forgive
Forgive EVERYTHING/BODY…. Most important FORGIVE YOU. I say this because this seems to be the hardest thing on earth for some humans to do. Most the time, when you can’t stand people, you are most upset that you let yourself get upset by them. Forgive yourself for being out of control, and forgive them for not being kind. FORGIVE
9. Make a decision to be Kind
There is no part time “kind”, there is full time “kind” and that is all. You are either aware of others or not, make a commitment to be aware, make a commitment to make the world a better spot to live in. Someone that you meet today is hurting, someone that you meet today is capable of passing kindness on, and usually they are the same person.
Please be KIND to all the Coffee talkers and future Coffee talkers out there, including you….
My heart is with you on your journey!
Lizzy
I need your help with ideas for simple kindness……. Please Comment….. Thank you!
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