Okay, so here is it, the straight talk I promised all of you as a friend. I have something that you are supposedly looking for, so I suggest you listen. If you choose not to, I am calling your bluff, you do not want happiness to begin with, you want the pursuit, you want the chase, but in fact you do not want to be happy.
Over the years, I admit, I have put myself in the position of giving advice, here especially, I have asked for all of your concerns and begged to give you solutions, and I have paid up, time and time again. I have been very lucky in the last few weeks to have been in contact with a lot of humans in the pursuit of happiness.
I am noticing a trend. There seems to be so many that say “I just want to be happy”. I have heard that over and over, it is the one consistent longing that humans seem to have. There is just one problem, you want to be happy, but you are not willing to change ANYTHING to make yourself that way.
As this “solutions finder” that I have made myself I question “Do these people REALLY want to be happy, or are they just lacking in other conversation?”
In so many of my conversations and correspondence I have offered the soft version of looking within yourself for fulfillment, changing your behaviors, and holding yourself accountable. This does not come easily I have reminded all.
Let me tell you, I hold the Holy Grail, right now, I am happy. I refuse not to be happy. I will allow nothing less than happiness. Here is how it works.
1) Nothing makes you unhappy except not being grateful for what you have right now. – Come up with ten things a day to be thankful for, write them down.
2) Is the glass half empty or half full? I have the answer to that simple question, it is not necessarily how you look at it or your perception, the way I look at it is
“If you are filling that glass or giving to the glass it is half full, if you are drinking from that glass or taking from it is half empty.”
Stop trying to see what is being taken from you and start watching what you are giving to the world and maybe things will look a bit brighter. What the hell are you doing to make this world a better place? – Come up with something to do that doesn’t benefit you, DO IT!
3) Stop bitching… Waste of time… - Don’t do it, it’s a waste of time, and more importantly energy
4) Stop worrying… Waste of time… - This does not mean stop planning, planning and worrying about the future are two different things, here is an easy way to tell the difference. If it is positive, it is planning, if it is negative, it is worrying. There you go!
5) If you ask for advice, take it, try it, because what you are doing is not working. If you simply want to “vent” describe it for what it is, venting is a waste of time, but some people need to do it. If you do not truly want advise, then stop wasting other peoples lives, if you do want it, be prepared to take it, and USE IT!
6) Stop Blaming everyone for your problems. If you are over 20 years old, it is time to forgive your parents for not being perfect and move on. It is not your boss’s fault that you are unhappy, it is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, and it is not your friends fault. If someone has the power over you to make you unhappy, maybe you are giving them too much power? – If someone has the ability to ruin your day, admit that you are leaning too hard on them, then empower yourself by taking all the credit for your own happiness, and unhappiness.
7) Your choice… You make a conscious decision everyday whether you want to be happy or not, happiness is a moment to moment thing, it is not a constant. You have to work for it. – Start looking for the beautiful things in life, point them out to you, and stop mentioning the ugly.
Surround yourself with “solution finders” not problem “pointer outters”. I can find a million people out there that can name “problem after problem” but when I find someone that can step back, look at the problem, and start finding solutions, I have a PRODUCTIVE relationship. Remember, if you are standing still, you are not going anywhere. Get going. – If you are in a good mood and someone is not, tell them that their energy is going to affect your positive energy, if that does not change the way they are, get away from them. Ask people for solutions, not problems.
9) Figure it out, do you want to search all of your life for happiness or do you want to live a happy life? Happiness is not something that is found, it is something that was never lost, and it is right with you all of the time, waiting for you to embrace it. – Stop looking for happiness, start being happy.
10) Have a good day. You can only have it if you want it. – Say “I am having a good day” and don’t be a liar, definitely not to yourself. As a matter of fact, stop lying to everyone.
Now, before you respond to me about all the BAD stuff that has happened to you, don’t bother, I can match you “bad for bad” and you most likely will not win, the difference is I am thankful for those adverse times and you are not. They got me to where I am today. I do not regret the past, I do not worry about the future, because neither really exists, it is today, this moment, and that I choose to be happy right now.
Some people ask me when they hear my story how I can be so happy? Here is what I tell them “Do you think that because I have had bad circumstances in my past that I deserve to suffer all my life for them? I will not.”
I do not mean to sound self righteous, but the fact is, I am happy and you aren’t. I love my life, I love my gifts, and I love me. No one but me is to take the credit for that and damn am I good…
My heart is with you on your journey.
Lizzy
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