Lately I guess I have been noticing Negativity a lot more than ever. About a year ago I had read The Power of Now and The Secret, and although the concept was great, I didn’t really start living it until about 6 months ago. Jason is really easy to live with under this way of thinking because he normally has a very positive outlook on his universe and therefore projects it; I have become that way too. Optimistic to annoyance maybe, but I have found that my life is more abundant now than ever, and the facts are just that, facts.

It has been a real challenge for me to not become negative about Negativity though, when I hear it sometimes I have a tendency to get frustrated, when really, I should just think back to a time not so long ago when my glass was half empty. I know I can change my perspective on that too, it just takes a different angle of looking at it.

Money

Have you ever met someone that works so hard but never has a pot to piss in?

I have, I know a lot of these people, their work ethic is second to none, yet they are constantly complaining about their financial condition. They worry about the moneys of tomorrow even if they have enough money for today. They, by worrying, don’t enjoy the fruits of today, nor tomorrow, they are unhappy, and ungrateful, and therefore they never have security not for even one day. The Secret implies that if you say in your mind “I am worried about not having enough money” the “universe” hears that and cannot differentiate that statement from a request, and therefore gives you “not enough” money.

The key is to be grateful today, and have faith in your tomorrows if they even come.

This does not mean, stop planning for your retirement, or saving for that special goal that you have, it just means have faith that the “universe” or “god” or even “yourself” will provide you with the means to be fruitful for all days.

I have often said in the past that I hate “money”, in fact, I do not hate money, I hate the abusive relationships that people have with their and others money.

“I have and will continue to have Abundance, Thank you”

Relationships

This is a BIG ONE, there are so many people searching for love, upset about love loss, scared of never obtaining love, or even scared of losing the love they have today.

Part of these books that I read a year ago, talked about living in this moment, in this day, but I have found that most people who are not happy with the relationship status that they are in, i.e. single, married, separated, or whatever, are simply living either in the past, or in the future, and some of the real “sad” cases bounce back and forth between, but never EVER stay in the present.

Lets take Single for instance, because a lot of people think this is the worst thing to ever happen to someone, which by far is untrue. So many times these “Singles” bounce between the loves they once had and lost and the loves the may never find in the future, therefore never living for today. When I was single not too long ago, (way before I got this concept) I remember people asking me “Why are you single?” “Why aren’t you married?” “Are you looking for a boyfriend?” the concept that I was perfectly happy was far beyond any notion that they could accept. I was happy, I truly was, and I remember feeling like a bit of a “freak” because I was not nearly as upset at they thought I should be, I wasn’t upset at all.

Maybe because I had a relationship based on love and respect with myself (the first healthy relationship I had ever had, by the way), but I did not long for loves past or loves future, I had love.

Love eventually came to me, and when it did I was calm, and ready to let it sit beside me, I was not too eager, it came in a healthy way. You know with courting, and laughing, and eventually loving and respecting, and then lastly trusting.

I feel the same now as I did when I was single, I just have someone there with me, enjoying some moments.

I won’t drag on too much about marriage and separation. But I do know this if you live in the past or the future when you are in these moments the marriage or separation will with all certainty fail completely. If you need me to talk more to this topic, please feel free to coffee-talk with me about it. I have lived in the past of the marriage, and the future of the marriage and it failed miserably. I have live in the past in separation, and the future in separation, also failed.

Love is not something someone gives you, it is something that you give.

Happiness

I sat at the table a few days ago with a friend, and although the lunch we were having was great I remember my friend looking to another table and commenting on how happy they were, my friend eluded to the fact that they longed for happiness like that. My ego went unhurt, but I thought to myself that happiness is nothing other than being grateful for what is at your table, what blessings you have, and if you continuously look at those blessings, you are bound to be happy.

The key to happiness overall is being thankful or grateful for what the “universe” or your “God” or you “yourself” has given you.

If you are constantly looking at the grass on the other side, you never ever notice how beautiful your own lawn is.

Health

Health is one of the most talked about feelings on earth. How are you feeling?

I have met perfectly healthy people that always complain about their health. Therefore they always feel crappy.

I have met perfectly sick people that never complain about their health. Therefore they always feel great.

The mind is a beautiful powerful tool, I suggest we use it. I suggest we utilize it in everything that we are.

Perspectives

Your Perspective is your only truth. I am thankful for those perspectives in this world that I see as optimistic and healthy, I pray you do too….

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy

We have over 400 Coffeetalkers….. Average Coffeetalker reads 5 pages……  Average visit is over 5 minutes….

I had no idea that we could be this successful in such a short time… I am humbled…

Thank you…. Lizzy 

I’ve been reading along for a while now. I just wanted to drop you a comment to say keep up the good work.

Today I am thankful for a quiet weekend…. J and I have had visitors for the last few weekends, and as much as we have loved every minute of them, this weekend I was most thankful for the quiet moments alone with my friend.

Saturday- Laid in bed for atleast 80% of the day… Did not say much, just enjoyed being silent together… Then dinner at Baccus Nibbles, which was OUTSTANDING, great conversation, and back home for an early retirement to bed….

Sunday-We enjoyed a few cups of coffee while laughing at our disaster of a govenment on the news, and then some mindless show called Talk Soup…. Then off to take our roommate to the Dog Park where we ran into a few of Herc’s friends (other dogs). There we walked for a long while and got some fresh air while laughing at other people getting freaked out about Hercules’s size. We then dropped off our roommate and headed to the Grocery, Hardware Store,  and my favorite the Atrium, where I get to walk around and see the million different plants and flowers that I love…. I finally got a Lilac bush, I am so proud. The grocery went smoothly for a Sunday, no sceaming kids OR parents. Then home to plant my bush and a few other flowers to finish off the front garden….. J is down building a cabinet to finish our livingroom, and I am up here, writing, boy am I a lucky woman.

The weekend finishes strong, just as it started…. Lovely.

Thankful….

Less can certainly be more….

Today I am thankful for nothing. This sounds as if I am not thankful at all, but truly I think “nothing” often gets the shaft when looking at what we have. I have tons of friends and a loving family, but today I am thankful for the nothings.

I am thankful that nothing is wrong, nothing is happening, and nothing is hindering our happiness. Nothing. I woke this morning and thought to myself ”what is wrong?” and I said to myself “nothing”.

So my heart goes out to the people out there with “something”, something that is hurting them, something that is making them unhappy, something that is challanging their soul, and I pray that there is “nothing” for them soon.  

Here is to “NOTHING”

Today I am thankful for my nieces

I would like to say just how important these children are in my life…..

There is something to be said for the innocent intelligence that these little creatures possess. Every single time I get to be near my nieces whether it is on the phone or in person they teach me valuable lessons. Life jades us as adults and often times our knowledge of a truth somehow clogs our vision…. Clogs our ability to think beyond ourselves, these little ones aren’t handcuffed by reality, but freed by imagination and the lack of line drawn between the two.  Their failures rarely stop them from diving right back in and they take the time to celebrate each success. They accept that they are wrong, and say that they are sorry, and if you say you are sorry to them, they move on, they forget and forgive. How do we lose our way? Why do we hold onto the past? Why do we stop celebrating and start focusing on failure? How do we let reality handcuff us to a lack of imagination?

Today, my oldest niece Alex was having a bad day; her friend had stayed the night and seemed to be having a great time with her little sister….. This is NO GOOD…. She really was upset, and the more upset she got, the more she had a point to prove….  She was in a funk; her younger sister was ruining her life…. All of a sudden she found a reason to start having fun, she made a choice. Now why can’t we as adults make a choice to have fun?

She was able to distract herself, she was able to let go of the problem and move forward.

I am thankful for my Nieces today…..   

Today I am thankful for Divorce.

Now I realize to everyone DIVORCE is a bad word, a terrible thing to go through, and somewhat of a “Scarlet Letter” when it comes to our society. I am here to tell you, it is the wings of freedom for many who have found themselves in the purgatory of a poor decision. I admit when people used to say “these people take the easy way out” I truly thought they were right, I thought that these “divorced monsters” were not willing to “go the extra mile” they were just “fair weather married people”.

The unspoken truth by everyone that has had to tell a Judge that they just “can’t” anymore is that divorce could quite possibly be a savior for ones soul. For all of us that have lain next to the one we thought we would spend the rest of our lives with, and felt so alone, we know that it was sink or swim, and for those of you who don’t know, you just don’t.   

My love and I were both divorced before we met, and as we talked the other night about what the demise of our marriage was, I picture him in the position he was in, and I pictured what life would be like for me if I had stayed where I was, and I had an overwhelming thought…. What if you could not get divorced?

I looked at J, and thought how unhappy he would be, and thought how miserable I would be, and then I went further, and thought of every “DIVORCED” person I knew, and how crazy they would be, and then I thought…. THANK GOD FOR DIVORCE!

There is a difference between going through a rough patch in a relationship, and going through “hell”, I know that.  I am saying if your soul tells you this is “hell”, even God himself would not expect you to stick around. Divorce is a terrible thing to endure, but a lifetime of payment for a poor choice, is beyond terrible. Today I salute Divorce.

Now, run out and get a divorce, and start living your life…… Just kidding, but if you are in a position that is your “hell”, there is no reason to stay.

When I removed myself from my marriage, I realized that some things were my fault and some were his, but it wasn’t about being “right” anymore, it was about not being “wrong”, and we were “wrong”.

“We pulled into my mom’s driveway, and I looked at him for a long time, and he looked at me. I needed to say so many things but, the talking had already been done, and I didn’t have anything to give to him. Years of arguing and debating and winning and losing had taken a toll on both of us, we were done. I said “I love you, and I know that you love me, I am not the right woman for you, and you are not the right man for me, this is not working, and I cannot do it anymore” and it was done. Tears poured out of his face, as I got out of the car and he pulled away. I sat and stared for an hour before I left for Crystal Lake, I didn’t call anyone, I didn’t need anyone, I wanted to be home, and Bloomington was no longer where my home was.

So, I drove to Crystal Lake, and as I pulled into my driveway, I thought of what I had put myself through over the years, and it made me sad. I was sad for the way I had treated myself and I vowed that day to never be unhappy again, not like that at least. I told myself that I would treat myself kindly when it came to tolerating behaviors of others and never sacrifice my beliefs. I walked through my door, and everything looked different, I was thankful for my life, and where I was in it. I knew it would be difficult to divorce him, but that was just a day I had already divorced him in my mind. He wasn’t good enough for me, I knew that before all of this, I settled for him and I would never settle again.”- Liz  

What are you thankful for today, sometimes, well… always, we talk about what we could change, this page is for what we wouldn’t change….. What we love… Please let all of us know what you are thankful for too…

First, I must say, I would not change J, he is the most wonderful creature I have ever known. Thank you UNIVERSE… for him. He is the most unbelievable friend, the best. Thank you for coming to my Grandfathers funeral with me and thank you for every other day, you know just how to make me feel better. I love you and today I am most thankful for you….

Yours….. Lizzy

I was in Florida last week, and once again we had great results on Coffee Talk over the last week, I look forward to coffee talking with all of you right away….. I did a lot of thinking beside that ocean again this time, and have some questions for all of you… Coming Soon!

Lizzy 

Coffee Talk Members….

We have had an outstanding week for Coffee Talk…

In the matter of 4 Days, we have had 96 visits, from all across the country. Almost half are new visitors and half are return visitors… This is amazing, I am so thankful that we are getting our coffee talk out there….

I look forward to more Coffee Talk with everyone….

 Lizzy!