What started as a research project has turned into a FULL BLOWN ADDICTION!

After my post about saving money I was talking to my nearest and dearest friend Stephanie, she had just discovered a way to get groceries for almost free. Hell, I figured, Why not? I have paid too much for years, not to mention the dilemma of never being able to find anything I wanted to make for dinner, this could be a solution. Well, not only has it turned out to be a solution, it has turned out to be an obsession.

I have never clipped a coupon in my life, never, as a matter of fact I have hated all you “couponers” with such conviction that I have almost had my own stand up routine ripping on you people.

The thought of getting the paper and sitting down, clipping all the coupons for things that I probably never needed in the first place out, gathering them in a accordion file, going to the grocery, and then inconveniencing the entire shopping population at the check out line was not only a nightmare to me, but a platform that I was completely not willing to stand on. Something changed. I went to Jill Cataldo’s class, for research purposes, and found out how to not only save money, do it without humiliating myself, and have fun with my friends. Oh yeah, I forgot, I am now giving food to the hungry, at no extra expense of my own!

These are the notes I took in Jill’s class. Her Website is www.jillcataldo.com

Coupon Class Notes- By Lizzy

When Super Coupon-ing remember that you ARE NOT ripping off the store, stores get 8 cents over the coupon amount back from the manufacturer, therefore taking a coupon makes them more money than it would if you were paying with cold hard cash.

The best mindset to use is that coupons are CASH, or even more valuable than cash to stores.

Every single item that we buy is on a 12 week interval, meaning that it goes to its lowest price every twelve weeks. It is important to remember that when shopping, buy enough for 12 weeks if possible.

The Chicago Tribune is the absolute BEST paper to receive, the amounts of the coupons are higher, always. An online coupon to get it for 50 cents per week for JUST the Sunday paper is 09TJ.

Stores such as Walmart, Aldi, and other “discount stores” are NOT cheaper. They are MIDDLE stores vs. Jewel, Myer, and Dominick’s that are HIGH/LOW stores. HIGH/LOW stores are better for coupon-ing because half of their items are lower than the MIDDLE stores are and half are higher, our job is to buy the lower items, NOT THE HIGHER ONES. The MIDDLE stores will NEVER save you money when “Super Coupon-ing”

Loading Coupons online to your loyalty cards (i.e. preferred card and dominicks card) will allow for “stacking” coupons, you can and should use store coupons and manufacturers coupons simultaneously  when ever possible. In-store flyers are good for this at Walgreens and CVS. You can go to three different sites for dominicks, the Proctor and Gamble site (google it), shortcuts.com, cellfire.com.

Always buy the smallest amount allowed when using a coupon (if it is less expensive), this ensures that you receive the lowest price per ounce/unit.

Watch for store coupons that say BUY 3 on any of “these items” to earn a certain amount back on your next purchase, buy the cheapest NOT WHAT YOU WANT. This means you are getting more for free when bundling with a manufacturer or store coupon.

Watch for DOLLAR SALES, it is the easiest way to get a freebee. Link it with a $1 off coupon and you are in business.

Look at the text on the coupon NOT the picture, most the time you can buy different items from the same manufacturer. (remember to go for the least expensive)

Watch for Blinky Coupons and Tear off’s at the store. You will usually want to wait until the 12 week low to use them. It is a “trick” that the store uses to get you to buy the item at a higher price, if you wait, you will get a much better price. Those coupons usually do not expire for a LONG time.

Do not rush to use any of your coupons, they raise most of the prices right before they come out.

B1G1 (Buy one get one)-

Use two coupons instead of one. For instance if it is B1G1 on CoCo Pebbles, the price is $5.00 for both, the stores usually charge $2.50 for each box, if you have two $1 coupons they end up being $1.50 each equaling $3 vs. $4 if you used only one coupon. (Dominick’s does not allow this)

Save your “free item” coupons until they are almost expired, try not to use them until you see a B1G1 at the store. This way you get both for free. Obviously, if they are almost expired, go get the free item. Remember coupons are cash, actually better than cash for stores.

Familiarize yourself with Store Coupon Policies. It is the best way to handle a grumpy cashier and remember, they most likely are not trained well and are just protecting their jobs.

Watch out for Catalina’s (the things that come out of the receipt machine after your receipt does) that say “Not a redeemable coupon”, They are very valuable for making you aware of upcoming events that are likely not published in your flyers/magazines/etc.

As a rule, we should only be shopping Sun-Wed, these days are not only better because there are two sales going on, but grocery stores up their prices Thurs-Sat because they know business will be forced to come in for weekend needs.

Do NOT be brand specific. If you cannot wait the 12 week interval for your FAVORITE brand, go for the less expensive sister item, this will save you hundreds of dollars.

Look for Red Plum, Proctor and Gamble, and Smart Source in the Sunday paper, when you receive them mark the date on the outside of the packet with a black marker.

Get a “split” organizer. It looks like an accordion file (and is one) but it looks like it is pregnant with a smaller accordion file on the front of it.

Put your dated Coupons from the paper and your magazines in the large part by weekly date.

Use the little file for your Blinky coupons, tear offs, Catalinas, etc. In other words, all of your loose coupons.

The smaller one is suggested to be broken up by Catalina, Beauty Needs, Grocery, etc.

Do not clip Coupons in advance. It is time consuming, this should take you no more than 2 hours a week, after you receive the grocery ad, you go to the website, it tells you where the coupon is, you clip it, put that weeks coupons in an envelope, and go to the store, it’s that simple.

NEVER EVER throw away your coupons until they expire (Dominick’s takes expired coupons, so they never expire). You may not need a Venus razor, but I am guessing you will take it for FREE, this is the biggest mistake most make when trying to get to this level of savings.

Tips to know on different stores

Walgreens

They have register rewards, watch for store coupons to stack with manufacturers coupons.

CVS

They have “Extra Care Bucks”, they print out like a receipt, most accidentally throw them away.

Target

They run a lot of “buy so many of this item and get a GIFT CARD”, you can stack these will manufactures and store coupons and often get free money or at least the items for free.

Dominick’s

They are the only ones in our area that take expired coupons, don’t forget! Put all your expired coupons in a section of your accordion file just for Dominick’s.

Kmart

They are the only ones in our area that will occasionally do DOUBLE COUPONS. Watch for this very closely. FREEBEES GALORE!

Suggestions from our teacher

For New Coupon Kings and Queens, they may want to SUBSCRIBE (which means you pay) to Grocerygame.com or coupon mom.com, it tells you exactly where all your coupons are to be cut out, if you put jillcataldo.com in, you get a free month. It is $1.25 per month, per store, I may try it for research sake.

I do not believe that you need to do this since Jill’s website almost does it, go on and check it out, she is a very crafty lady! www.jillcataldo.com

Good luck and remember, this is supposed to be fun!

This cost me $20, EVERYTHING IN THE PICTURE!!!!!

Okay…. So this is a work in progress…. Those of you who know me know that I am the LEAST frugal person in THE world…. I have told some of my closest friends that I am experimenting with this, it is always followed by billowing laughter… Unappreciated, if I do say so myself.

So this makes me want to dive in even further. I may not be frugal, but I am competitive, so I plan to save so much money it knocks all my closest friends socks off…. I don’t feel remotely guilty for getting a good deal, since I have paid my my dues for all these years paying the manufacturers suggested retail price or higher in some cases.

This is a TOTAL work in progress….. I plan on taking steps to figure this new lifestyle out and hopefully all of you walk with me!

But this is what I have learned so far….

1) A treat should feel like a treat. Stuff like Starbucks, going out to dinner, getting new outfits, and other nonessentials should not be a run of the mill occurrence and for me, I have taken these things so for granted that they are no longer even pleasurable, frankly, going out to dinner was almost annoying. I would leave a $4 coffee in the car to go bad. Even worse, buying something for myself was nothing, I felt nothing.

So my first commitment to my new venture was to start treating treats like treats. I made restrictions on my budget for these things, so when I have them I will savor them, and if then I do not, I will release them from my life… You and I both know, Starbucks is not going anywhere!

2) Gifts= Gifts instead of Gifts= Love

I LOVE buying something for someone, I mean, it makes me so thrilled. Now, this up into this new adventure has meant that when I find something for someone I buy it, with out hardly looking at the price. My family and friends do not care remotely how much I spend on them, truthfully, most would rather I did not spend on them at all. That being said…. Who am I really buying for, them, or myself? So here is what my plan is to do…. I will be much more creative, take my time, and remember, gifts are not love, love is love.

SO I am drastically reducing how much I let myself spend on gifts. I plan to give more love and appreciation, if someone does not want that, maybe I don’t want them as a friend anyway.

3) Categories and Budgets

J and I went through our quicken and figured out what we have averaged year to date, luckily I had that history, but if you do not, record what you spend everyday for a month ON EVERYTHING, and you will have these numbers. We then discussed and brainstormed on each section of our life to see what we wanted to eliminate, the amount of money that this will save you is AMAZING!

The best part about this, I have a little notebook on a page turned sideways it has each category, the monthly budget, and room below for all your expenses, so you can record them as you go.

I go tomorrow to Stephanie’s to learn her little money saving tricks…. I will report back…. Unless it kills me!

A list is coming soon on money saving tips!

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy

I must apologize to my readers; I have been so tied up in my life that writing has not come easily for me. I am so rich in gifts that they seem to be keeping me swamped with planning, doing, and moving on to the next great passage that something had to give, and for me it was lets coffee talk. Well, I am back, better than ever, with a completely abundant outlook on this world.

This is a tribute to just how wealthy I have been over the last few months and how much more wealthy I get to be for the few months to come. A lot of the time I use a checklist of categories to figure out just what I need to work on, but as I go down my self made list there are no short comings, no needs for focus, and I find myself renovating nothing. A first for me.

Friends- Over the last few years I had to prioritize my relationships from quantity to quality, this is somewhat of a painful process, but in the end stages I have been blessed to have kept the ones who love me back, enrich my life, and make me a better person. My friends are amazing these days, our conversations are stimulating, our loyalty is a two way street, and I could not be more blessed by those who I have made my family of no obligation. I must give my friend Maureen a lot of credit, she has persistently set up a “Calamari Thursday Night”, a bunch of friends get together, have wine, and eat calamari. I have enjoyed this more than anything; it is a great way to get together for seemingly no reason to enjoy the company of great conversation. I believe that everyone should make the excuse to go be surrounded by dear friends. Thank you to Maureen, a blessing in my life.

Family- My family and I are very close, my mom, my sisters, my nieces, my Aunt Kate and my two dads are the pieces of my puzzle that hold me together. I am so grateful to have them in my day to day life. Unfortunately just because you are blood related does not mean that you should be disrespected in any way. I had to make a hard choice to not be in a relationship with one of my sisters this year, she was hurtful and toxic, and by allowing myself to release her after so many years of trying to get her to love me some how, some way, I found myself relieved. See, if someone cannot love you the way you need to be loved it is counterproductive to try to force it. There are personality conflicts out there, and forgiving myself for not being able to be in the abusive relationship, whether it be sisters, or lovers, or even colleagues, was freeing in a way. It took so much of the pressure off of both of us. I had made it my “New Years Resolution” for the last three years to try to get closer, be more tolerant, and show more love to a person that did not welcome any of it. I walked away, some may call me a quitter, but I believe that if you keep fighting a battle that you can never win, you are just plain stupid. There is a reason that I am not trying out for the NBA, they don’t want me, and neither did she. You have to know when to hold them, and more importantly, know when to fold them. I encourage everyone to know when to fold them, do it, and forgive yourself for any failure you might feel. Just because someone shares DNA with you does not mean they share your heart. It has made me more thankful than ever for the family that has been there through thick and thin, and made me be more supportive to them.

Work- Okay, work has always been a tough subject for me, always slightly unsatisfied, longing to be more successful, more driven, more, more, more. I took a little hobby job at a little boutique back in November. I have never been happier with a decision in my life. The group that I work with come in all shapes and sizes, young and old, rich and poor, but the one thing that they all share is heart. I love these new friends, and I love being with them, they are always kind, always giving, always positive, and are all women in the first right. I am grateful to be a part of them.

Love Life- There is not any words in the English Language to describe this department. I have tried to write about Jason for so long and I always feel like I let us down when I try to portray what we have found, a treasure above treasures. For me, this is the holy grail.
As I plan to walk down the aisle to the man that I have chosen for my life, offer my mind, body, soul, hopes, dreams, ugliness, idiosyncrasies, and take my last journey alone. What a momentous stroll toward something new, or old in some cases. Jason and I have been together for near three years now, although it seems like time has stood still, like there has not been any years at all, isn’t that what it is about? We get up the same every morning although each morning seems like a brilliant new day. We have many routines, I guess we just fit together, there are few annoying parts of the puzzle, so few in fact that I don’t even notice them when they happen, I just laugh as if they were there for my own amusement. He laughs with me. I can only appreciate that he finds the same things funny. Is it strange that I feel like I have known him for years, a lifetime really. I always thought that the mistake I made was thinking that when you married someone; you became one, I thought that instead you were supposed to live at “hopefully” the same pace, grow on your own, together. Jason proves me wrong. You do become one, together.

So here we are, together, blooming, not as a single flower, as a bouquet. It is strange to see a face that looks at you like you like you always dreamed of being looked at, to look at someone without any ego in your eyes, no jealousy, no resistance, no fear, no hesitation, and no pain. There is no words to describe him, no words to describe how I feel, and no words to describe how blessed I am to have him. No words at all.

My Self- Last but not least. My last few months have been like a dream. For me, travel is a way for me to get to know myself better, with each trip, I see something about myself in others, and identify if I like it or not. February it was Mexico, Jason and I took a “five dayer” to lie together somewhere besides in our home, it was wonderful and relaxing. The in March we zapped down to Florida to see Jason’s parents, a trip that meant a lot, as you may have figured out, I am marrying more family, and it felt good to be able to see them as my future mother and father in law. Now April arrives, Spain with my sister Janice, a trip we have dreamt of taking for years, and now it is my next anticipation. Then in June, ten days in the Bahamas to become a Mrs. instead of a Misses. In every un-highlighted area are the real good parts, this is the life I always wanted. Friends, Family, a Love that is real, a work that isn’t consuming, and no want, no need, and when I look at it from an aerial view it seems too good to be true, but it is, and it is mine, and today is my day.

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy

A wonderful Christmas story. Regardless of your faith, you have to feel good about our capacity for compassion. After reading her initial email, I couldn’t help but feel compelled to give, as did the woman in the store. When I heard about this story and the immediate help offered by those around her I was once again reminded that our world is a place of abundance, not scarcity.

When I feel that the world is a place of scarcity, I feel sad, isolated and malaise. I take for granted all the beautiful things this world serves up on a platter for me every day.

When I feel the world is a place of abundance, even life’s biggest challenges feel like gifts in ugly disguises.

By sharing what can only be called a sad situation with her friend, she probably didn’t know it at the time, but she was actually giving something. She may not have been in the ideal position to give her children the christmas she wanted, but she gave her friend the opportunity to help, and gave us all the opportunity to learn a lesson.

Thanks for the lesson and Merry Christmas

Respect & Love,

J

Just by reading this, I have counted so many things I am doing wrong! I suck at Thank you notes (especially since my sister allows my children to open there birthday presents without me in the room and doesn’t write down what she got!) I know I have and wear white shoes, do sandal or strappy heals count? And I have a candle burning right now that smells like apple crumble or pumpkin pie, or something like that! Wow, a real eye opener!

Katie,

That’s why I wrote this so we all are in the “know”.

I think that yes, it is important to fill peoples mailboxes with happiness instead of bills all the time, but I will say that you are not “elegant” if you are offended if you don’t receive a “Thank you”, if you give to receive, you aren’t giving for the “right” reasons. Give out of Love, and that is all. Love cannot be received, only given, and saying “thank you” is giving love too. I simply thought that it is such a nice idea to fill mailboxes with love, instead of bills.

As for white shoes, they don’t look good for long, so in these trying times I think that it would be best to invest in something that will last a little longer. So, the book says, don’t wear them unless it is your wedding or you are under 12 years old. There are beautiful shoes out there in all shades, but they should be an investment, you should LOVE them. If you LOVE white shoes and they make you feel sexy or powerful, GODSPEED.

As for the “food” candle, hey, it is your home, if you want it to smell like food, GO FOR IT. The smells are very sweet, and make some people (me) sick. The little pink book never mentioned what kind of smell, that was my opinion!

I am grateful for your questions and my heart is with you on your journey,

“The Modern Day Girl’s Guide to living with Style”

Jason once told me that what ever he decides to do, he tries to do with “Style”, over the years without saying it so clearly I guess that has been my goal too. I think we all have a certain style, some are better than others, but yes, we all have our ways of making ourselves stand out a bit.

I bought this book as an “impulse buy” sometime ago at Barnes and Noble when I was purchasing a more “heavy” book as a way to lighten my mood after some serious self help. I must say it has given me more pleasure than the “self help” book ever did, and even better, it taught me quite a bit about myself, which is what we are all trying to do right?

The Little Pink Book of Elegance teaches you several different ways that you can stand out by down playing and up playing a few of the “rules of etiquette”. It covers everything from what to and not to wear to how to manage your closet and night stand. It tells you the classic way to throw a party and how not to lose your mind doing it. The do’s and don’ts of wearing make-up (you could be doing a don’t! I was) and how to have subtle manners while wearing that make-up correctly.

I faired pretty well, I was taught as a young apprentice to my Mom and Aunt Kate what mainly to strive for, but this has dialed me in a bit.

Some of the things I learned?

White Shoes? A No No…. Once she presented that after the first few times that you wear them they typically look like crap anyway, she not only convinced me not to wear them, but convinced me that it was sort of a waste of money.

Cubic Zirconia? Sure! As long as you wear them the right way, again, a great way to spend less and look great!

Spending Money on your Hair? Absolutely! It is the first thing people see when they approach you, so it should be easy to justify. I see so many really bad hair cuts, and it absolutely makes a difference. Men can get a $10 hair cut, Women however, if they have anything other than a man-do need to have a well trained stylist on their side. By the way, color is an art form, if you are not an artist; do not attempt to do art.

Green or Blue eye shadow? No. No explanation needed.

Freshly Cut Flowers? YES! They lend a certain elegance to your home or office, and you don’t have to wait for someone to send them to you either, $7 bucks at Jewel Osco, and over a week or enjoyment, Jason’s Mom taught me to cut them at an angle, under the water, stretched their life to 2 weeks, great way to save money!

Candles? Sure, as long as it doesn’t look like a witch’s séance, a few burning at all times will allow ambience and a pleasant smell throughout your home. My opinion? Candles should not smell like food, cinnamon is fine, but sugar cookie makes people sick.

Ironing? A Must. We have gotten away from ironing, people reading this that know me will laugh, but ironing is an easy way to make a piece of clothing look put together, a linen look clean and welcoming, and ironing is somewhat calming if you embrace it.

Reduced Price because of Damage? Rejection… If it requires work, it is not worth it. You can get reduced prices if you shop online, or buy less, but smart.

Tailor? Please! Too many times I see a beautiful dress (or what could be) on a woman, but it doesn’t fit correctly. She pulls at it, and looks uncomfortable; therefore ruining the result she wanted. If your clothing fits correctly, you look elegant. Buy less, spend on key items. Janice wrote a piece on those high end jeans not too long ago, absolutely worth the money. Shirts can be purchased for a lot less, which is where you save the cash. Less Rights are better than more Wrongs!

Thank you notes? Thank you, I think the Thank You Note is so needed in our society today, it personalizes much better than an email or text, plus you give someone a positive in their mailbox, and as we all know, going to the mail box is not fun. Make someone’s day a little brighter.

This is a fun book. I loved it. Please comment on ways that you make your lives more “elegant”!

My Heart is with you on your journey!

Lizzy

My Aunt Kate has a gift, she can make a house a home in record time. Last week I emailed her for a few ideas for all of us. I should have looked around my own home, but after you have been doing it for so long, sometimes its hard to realize what exactly you are doing, it becomes second nature. There is nothing better than coming home and enjoying a sanctuary, and second is presenting a comfort to your guests. When you know that there is a place that is your own that has the ability to immediately make you feel relaxed the rest of the world seems a lot less “annoying”. Your friends will be more likely to want to come to a place that you are in a balanced state, therefore they come more often.

Candles

Fresh flowers

Brighter light bulbs in a dim room

New hand towels on the bathroom vanity

Hand milled soaps

Books

A throw on the back of the sofa or chair

New pillows if a new sofa is out of the question

A silver or leather picture frame

Anything monogrammed (frames, towels, shower curtain)

Lemons or limes in a jar or bowl

Sea shells (Nate Burkess says every room should have something from the sea)

Don’t forget curb appeal with a large container of geraniums out front

Clean, clean, clean – nothing looks good unless you apply this principle to your home.   

Everything has a place, no clutter

Color on the walls, find a color that comforts you, and paint every wall that same color, white is no good.

Bedding, comfort is king, but make it beautiful.

Any ideas out there? 

I have been raised to use all of these tips, they help to make my house a home. Thank you Aunt Kate, for giving me the tools over the years to make me comfortable where ever I am.

Step into Action

Ask yourself- What do I want?

Write down three goals for every single room and three things you don’t want in every single room. Write them on a piece of paper, with a big marker, and tape them in a prominent place. This will be a Guideline to your success. For Instance;

Living Room

Goals

1)      Peaceful

2)      Relaxing

3)      Social

No

1)      Playroom

2)      Cafeteria

3)      Clutter

This will allow you to make UNEMOTIONAL DECISIONS…. When you put emotion into your things, you make poor choices that have no purpose. Look at this list every time you have a hard time getting rid of something, if it supports your goals for the room, keep it, if it doesn’t GET RID OF IT!

Home is where the heart is. That being said, what in your home is a suitable roommate for your heart?

1)      Bills- Who the hell keeps sending these things?

2)      Junk Mail- Key word “Junk”

3)      Keepsakes- You don’t need to “keep” them for God sakes

4)      Pictures- Picture this, no one cares to see most of your pictures

5)      Clothing- There is people out there that can’t find anything to wear- Cause there is nothing in their closet; What’s your problem?

6)      Toys- A.D.D.  …. By overload

This is a good place to start; these are a few things that people usually get overwhelmed with. Let’s start here, get this crap out of the way, and then move on. Start to LIVE….

There is a mindset change that will happen after you get these things under wraps. You are joining what I call the “Throw-Away Club”…. The “Throw away Club” simply means that you have taken your focus off of your things, and put the meaning back into your soul purpose, peace.

Bills-

I have noticed a direct reflection between someone’s Bills, and their clutter. When you are overwhelmed with your bills, you become overwhelmed with your entire life, you are emotionally stressed, and instead of taking it on like a challenge you stack them in a place, that you see everyday, and pretend that they are important. Paying your bills is important we all know that, but if you cannot pay them they seem to become peace suckers, and you have anxiety all the time….. I used to stack them on my desk (which I sat at everyday), not open them at all, and once I got so overwhelmed, I wouldn’t even pay the ones I could, it was just too much to deal with. I was putting emotion into every single envelope.

Solution

1)      Remove your name from the bills, act like they are not your bills, they are some other persons, someone you love, and you do not judge. (By removing judgment of yourself, you remove emotion)

2)      Take a yellow legal pad and write 4 different Categories on top of 4 different pages. Example; Household, Medical, Credit, and Miscellaneous (This will typically feel scary, you are about to find out where you are “bill wise”, don’t stop, the goal is to get these down on this piece of paper, stop judging yourself, remember, these are not your bills, they are someone else’s)  

3)      Open every bill and throw away the envelope they sent it to you in, write it down in the category it belongs in on the legal pad, the amount and when it “was or is” due. (This is the worst step, keep remembering these “are not your bills right now”)

4)      Rip the statement from the rest of the bill, place it in the envelope that the bill collector provides for you, and write the amount on the envelope. Make four piles (same categories as before, household, medical, credit, and misc); place the envelopes in those piles according to what they represent.

5)      Get a daily calendar, assign the bills to pay days, most important to least important, I have found it goes- Household, because you need hot water, and groceries, credit, because they are just dying to rob you with a high interest, misc, and then medical, the fact is, everyone has medical bills, pay them $20 a month, and they can’t do anything that I know about to you, like kill you or mame you, or be an ass to you over the phone)

6)      Put the stack of bills that you are paying that week in the back of the daily planner, and put the rest in a file.

7)      As bills come in, ad them to the legal pad, and then assign them a pay day. Every week pay the bills you planned to pay, and keep the rest in file ready to go.

THERE SHOULD NEVER BE BILLS OUT FOR YOU TO SEE IN YOUR HOME, these seriously like TOXIC to your peace of mind, you have a plan to pay them, stop looking at them, it doesn’t make them more or less important, and it just makes you feel like crap because you can’t pay them today.

Look under the comments- Kelly (a coffeetalker) has professional advice about medical bills

Junk Mail-

There is not much use in Junk Mail, but occasionally you will find that there is a new business out there or a great coupon, or something that you can use, this is rare, so here’s what I want you to do.

Solution

1)      Where ever you come in your home, place a garbage can somewhere easily accessible.

2)      When you get the mail, go threw it over the garbage can, throw away what ever you aren’t going to use that week (notice, I said “that week”, because if it is longer than a week, you will forget about it, and it becomes clutter)

3)      Place what ever coupons in your daily planner. Use them.

Note; I rarely keep anything like this, coupons usually encourage you to spend more on what you don’t need, if you keep it make sure it is something you will use this week)

Keep Sakes

Keepsakes never seize to amaze me, everyone’s got their grandmothers this or their kids that, and usually they are at the bottom of a box, not being shown or anything. What the hell are you keeping this stuff for?

Solution

1)      If you are not displaying it, with love and honor, you are disgracing this piece of memorabilia, if it’s not important enough to put it in a place of importance, give it away to someone that will honor it.

2)      Keep in mind, things are not people.

 An antique sugar bowl, that doesn’t match your style, that is really valuable to someone, sell it, use the money for a nice weekend away, trust me, your favorite grandma that died would rather you make a nice memory out of that sugar bowl, that have you look at and feel guilty for hating the thing.   

Pictures

Keep in mind, people are usually being nice when it comes to looking at your pictures, they normally would rather visit with you, or do something fun to make a new memory. There are pictures that are important to keep, baby’s first step, or birthday, or whatever.

Solution

1)      Place these pictures in a photo book, NOW. (I am not asking you to become a “scrap booker”, Get them in a safe dry book, and call it a day. Projects that you “plan” to do “one day” usually never happen, or if they do, it’s too late.

2)      Throw away the rest; if it is not worth putting in a book, it’s not worth keeping. You are not throwing away the person or the memory if you throw away the picture of the person or the memory.

This is a really weird category for people; they have so many emotional ties to photos. When you are  going through this part of your clutter, pretend you are someone that doesn’t know you, and is trying to decipher your life through pictures, if the picture doesn’t tell a story about you get rid of it.

Note: People hate pictures of your vacation, STOP SHOWING THEM TO EVERYONE, which has nothing to do with getting rid of them; it’s just something that bothers people in general.

Clothing

Oh…. Clothing…. This is the subject that is the WORST when it comes to “pitching”. For some reason, we have a tendency to latch onto our clothes. Whether they are too small, too big, too hot, too cold, too whatever… Here’s the deal, clothing is in one of the “key survival categories” i.e. shelter, food, clothing….. Therefore, we are nervous about getting rid of this crap….

Solution

1)      If it doesn’t fit you today, get rid of it. There is someone that needs it TODAY, that can fit into it.

2)      If you haven’t liked it for 1 month, you will never like it again. There is a less fortunate person out there that will LOVE it, give it to them.

3)      If you are overwhelmed with laundry, the more clothes you give away, the less laundry you will be able to have.

4)      If it is summer, put your winter clothes away, and vice versa…. When you take out the next season, immediately put the other season away.

Give your clothes that you are not using to people in need. I cannot plead enough to take care of your fellow man/woman; we are all on this earth together.

Toys

I AM GOING TO GET ON A SOAP BOX FOR A MINUTE… YOU READY?….. We are making our children unhappy with all of the “things” we are giving them. We are giving them 100’s of toys and expecting them to appreciate EVERYTHING…. Let me ask the question; Why are we giving so many “things” to our children, expecting them to make the decision to appreciate people, hard work, money, and somehow grasp the “good” in life, yet we distract them with “things” that have no meaning whatsoever, why?

Solution

1)      Pick out 10 favorite toys, set them aside.

2)      If your child is old enough, give them a “garden sized” bag and ask them to fill it up with toys to give to a less fortunate child.

3)      Praise your child for having a kind heart, and giving to others

4)      Make a rule, if you disrespect your toys they will be given to someone else (if the toys are on the floor, placed somewhere they don’t belong, left outside)

5)      Give the disrespected toys to someone else

6)      If your child asks where the toy is (you know you gave it away) say “I don’t know”, this will make your child look for it, and eventually they will keep a closer eye on things that they want to keep.

7)      Stop buying toys, not all together, but this should be a special occasion, not a weekly event. Make them look forward to something

      STOP THREATENING YOUR CHILD…. If you make the rule “I will be giving your toys away that you leave out”, just do it, do not threaten them over and over, you discount your word when you say you are going to do something and then don’t. JUST DO IT….

I watched a couple at a restaurant the other day tell their 3 year old five times that if she did not stop acting that way they were going to leave, she did not stop, and they did not leave…. They were lying. They had no intention of leaving; therefore she didn’t change her behavior. If once they had actually left, she probably would have been more reactive to their warning. These children are little people (treat them like it, and people don’t appreciate liars); tell them what you are going to do, then actually do it. THAT’S IT!

You have worked really hard….Now CELEBRATE by going to Good Will, or the Salvation Army….. Celebrate Giving…. Celebrate that you no longer place love on things instead of people and memories…. Celebrate Life

DECISION TIME…….. What is Important to YOU?

You have got to decide if your things are worth more than your peace of mind…

1) Why are you collecting things?

There are a few reasons you would collect crap (crap is not neccessarily unvaluable, it is stuff you don’t need), you either find it valuable, or you fear letting it go.

My friend managed to tell me EVERYTHING was important. I needed to understand this concept a little better. Why?

As we went through, when she said we had to keep it, I’d ask Why?

The reasons were simple.

1) It was expensive

2) Someone she cared about gave it to her

3) She didn’t know when, but she might need it

4) It had a sentimental value…. Reminder of a memory of an importantant person or event.

Okay, so we have the reasons we keep things, money, guilt, and fear.

1) If it is in fact valuable, why not sell it? You are wasting it’s value by not using it, or giving it to someone to use. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WITH NOTHING, give it to them, not only is a tax write off, but it is a way to make yourself feel really good about “giving”. GIVE TO OTHERS.

2) People you love give you crap all the time, they think GIVING (see #1) is a good thing, and it is… These people are typically giving “things” to you because they love you. That being said, they love you, and they are not giving to you to make you feel bad, they are no giving to you to make you feel obligated, and they are not giving to you to make you feel cluttered. The people who truly give for the right reason (out of love) are not coming over to your home and taking a mental inventory, as a matter of a fact they forget about the “thing” immediately. Do you remember anything you have given to someone out of love over the years? NO! GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE…

3) Need…. Such a strange overused word. What do we actually “NEED”? There are people out there that “need” it now. GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE….

4) Sentimental Value? Things are not people, they are not places, and they are not memories… Your childrens drawings are real peices of Art, but if you have to spend time moving them all the time instead of spending time with your children, they are robbing you of your memories. When you put emotional attatchment on “things” you loose emotional attachment to people, places, and overall memories. GIVE and THROW your things away, and make time for MEMORIES…. Live

Note; There are things that are important to you, if they are not treated like they are important, then you are disgracing the “thing”…. Put this in a respectable, honorable place in your home. Celebrate it…. If you have something that you love, truly love it by displaying it in a loving way. LIVE with it…. 

That being said, ask yourself WHY?

Making a GREAT Living

When I was younger, all I wanted to do was make a GREAT living, which to me was MAKING A LOT OF MONEY, AND HAVING TONS OF STUFF. I managed by the time I was 21 to buy my own house, a few cars, new furniture, clothes, shoes, and had tons of “friends” to go out and help me spend my “GREAT LIVING”. The only real problem was, I was not happy.

I found that owning all my crap made me almost handcuffed to a lifestyle that was really overrated, now, don’t get me wrong, I like nice things, but I have found “things” just don’t make you happy, as a matter of fact, having too many “things”, reverses the effect and makes you miserable. Having the wrong people in your life has the same effect, they become anchors. I felt like all this was closing in on me, and it had to go…..

Do You OWN Your Things or Do They OWN You?

A most important question….. Who owns What? or What owns Who?

I am not asking anyone to get rid of the “dream house” or the “dream car”, I am talking about the things you acquire for no apparent reason, the stuff, the crap.

What is so IMPORTANT about your Crap?

Recently, I was invited over to a friends house to help her “organize” her home. She was beyond frustrated by the build up of things around the house. Once I got over there, I realized why she was out of her mind, there was crap everywhere. I thought to myself, this should be a piece of cake…. We will throw it all away, and be done with it… Simple Enough Right? 

Once we got started, I realized that things were not going to be as simple as I thought, as we started to pillage through all of her families crap, and I stood by with a garden sized garbage bag, we started to make a great discovery…. EVERY SINGLE THING HAD SOME SORT OF IMPORTANCE…. How could this be?

I started to get very concerned, this is one of the dearest people in my life, and I knew she was in trouble. We went through the entire room, and moved the junk from that area to another…. OPERATION JUNK RELOCATION?

This went on for over an hour, we even came across a basket of bills to pay, a laptop on the floor, and a Nintendo DS of one of the kids.

At this point I made a choice, I could keep randomly  moving junk, or I could speak up, and find out what was going on…. Keep in mind, as we relocated the junk, my friend’s face was sad and overwhelmed. I couldn’t stand it, I love her, and her things had taken her for ransom….

I stood up….. “STOP”

She stopped.

“We have got to make a decision here, are these things important, or is you family important?” 

“My Family of course”

“Then let us make your family important, and here is how we are going to do it….”