Archive: OUR BOOKS

Julie & Julia by Julie Powell

Julie/ Julia Project

I have been reading this book this week, quite different than I expected it to be. It is about a lost 29 year woman (who has not gone through that if they have found their 29th year, Geez) who does not know whether or not to have kids, follow a career, or what the hell she is doing in her life. I have definitely been there, as have all my friends. It was particularly enticing to me since I have a blogging project of my own here, one I have ignored for sometime. Julie in the book decides she will be making every recipe out of Julia Childs, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. Then she will blog about her experiences with it. While this experiment is interesting in its failures and successes, I found that her self development was where this book really shined. Maybe we all should take on something like this to get to know ourselves. Why not? What are we doing? What have we done that makes no sense to anyone, but ourselves?

I am searching for a project now…. I will get back to you when I find it…..

Until then, I recommend this book. It is certainly not the most spell binding book I have ever read, but the message is, get to know who you are by taking on something that you will have as many failures as successes, and maybe, just maybe, be a better human for it.

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy

Just by reading this, I have counted so many things I am doing wrong! I suck at Thank you notes (especially since my sister allows my children to open there birthday presents without me in the room and doesn’t write down what she got!) I know I have and wear white shoes, do sandal or strappy heals count? And I have a candle burning right now that smells like apple crumble or pumpkin pie, or something like that! Wow, a real eye opener!

Katie,

That’s why I wrote this so we all are in the “know”.

I think that yes, it is important to fill peoples mailboxes with happiness instead of bills all the time, but I will say that you are not “elegant” if you are offended if you don’t receive a “Thank you”, if you give to receive, you aren’t giving for the “right” reasons. Give out of Love, and that is all. Love cannot be received, only given, and saying “thank you” is giving love too. I simply thought that it is such a nice idea to fill mailboxes with love, instead of bills.

As for white shoes, they don’t look good for long, so in these trying times I think that it would be best to invest in something that will last a little longer. So, the book says, don’t wear them unless it is your wedding or you are under 12 years old. There are beautiful shoes out there in all shades, but they should be an investment, you should LOVE them. If you LOVE white shoes and they make you feel sexy or powerful, GODSPEED.

As for the “food” candle, hey, it is your home, if you want it to smell like food, GO FOR IT. The smells are very sweet, and make some people (me) sick. The little pink book never mentioned what kind of smell, that was my opinion!

I am grateful for your questions and my heart is with you on your journey,

“The Modern Day Girl’s Guide to living with Style”

 

Jason once told me that what ever he decides to do, he tries to do with “Style”, over the years without saying it so clearly I guess that has been my goal too. I think we all have a certain style, some are better than others, but yes, we all have our ways of making ourselves stand out a bit.

 

I bought this book as an “impulse buy” sometime ago at Barnes and Noble when I was purchasing a more “heavy” book as a way to lighten my mood after some serious self help. I must say it has given me more pleasure than the “self help” book ever did, and even better, it taught me quite a bit about myself, which is what we are all trying to do right?

 

The Little Pink Book of Elegance teaches you several different ways that you can stand out by down playing and up playing a few of the “rules of etiquette”. It covers everything from what to and not to wear to how to manage your closet and night stand. It tells you the classic way to throw a party and how not to lose your mind doing it. The do’s and don’ts of wearing make-up (you could be doing a don’t! I was) and how to have subtle manners while wearing that make-up correctly.

 

I faired pretty well, I was taught as a young apprentice to my Mom and Aunt Kate what mainly to strive for, but this has dialed me in a bit.

 

Some of the things I learned?

 

White Shoes? A No No…. Once she presented that after the first few times that you wear them they typically look like crap anyway, she not only convinced me not to wear them, but convinced me that it was sort of a waste of money.

 

Cubic Zirconia? Sure! As long as you wear them the right way, again, a great way to spend less and look great!

 

Spending Money on your Hair? Absolutely! It is the first thing people see when they approach you, so it should be easy to justify. I see so many really bad hair cuts, and it absolutely makes a difference. Men can get a $10 hair cut, Women however, if they have anything other than a man-do need to have a well trained stylist on their side. By the way, color is an art form, if you are not an artist; do not attempt to do art.

 

Green or Blue eye shadow? No. No explanation needed.

 

Freshly Cut Flowers? YES! They lend a certain elegance to your home or office, and you don’t have to wait for someone to send them to you either, $7 bucks at Jewel Osco, and over a week or enjoyment, Jason’s Mom taught me to cut them at an angle, under the water, stretched their life to 2 weeks, great way to save money!

 

Candles? Sure, as long as it doesn’t look like a witch’s séance, a few burning at all times will allow ambience and a pleasant smell throughout your home. My opinion? Candles should not smell like food, cinnamon is fine, but sugar cookie makes people sick.

 

Ironing? A Must. We have gotten away from ironing, people reading this that know me will laugh, but ironing is an easy way to make a piece of clothing look put together, a linen look clean and welcoming, and ironing is somewhat calming if you embrace it.

 

Reduced Price because of Damage? Rejection… If it requires work, it is not worth it. You can get reduced prices if you shop online, or buy less, but smart.

 

Tailor? Please! Too many times I see a beautiful dress (or what could be) on a woman, but it doesn’t fit correctly. She pulls at it, and looks uncomfortable; therefore ruining the result she wanted. If your clothing fits correctly, you look elegant. Buy less, spend on key items. Janice wrote a piece on those high end jeans not too long ago, absolutely worth the money. Shirts can be purchased for a lot less, which is where you save the cash. Less Rights are better than more Wrongs!

 

Thank you notes? Thank you, I think the Thank You Note is so needed in our society today, it personalizes much better than an email or text, plus you give someone a positive in their mailbox, and as we all know, going to the mail box is not fun. Make someone’s day a little brighter.

 

This is a fun book. I loved it. Please comment on ways that you make your lives more “elegant”!

 

My Heart is with you on your journey!

 

Lizzy

  

20 Something 20 Everything

I was having one of my usual days, what book is going to make me feel better, or at least “normal”, and decided to venture off to Borders! It’s one of my favorite places and I love the smell of coffee (imagine that)! I stumbled upon a book entitled 20 Something, 20 Everything, by Christine Hassler. It pretty much describes how women in their early twenties to early thirties are experiencing what is now being called a “quarterlife crisis”. Most everyone has heard of a mid-life crisis, but the quarterlife crisis happens to young women who are unsure of their goals and purpose in life. We are expected by society to be a multitude of different things and most of us have been told since we were little girls that we can be anything we want to be. It’s wonderful that women now have the opportunity to make that happen. We are expected to be mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, career wife, etc. We can have it all! That is the stressful part. Most of us don’t know who we are, what we want or how to get it. This book gives specific examples of women who are going through the same circumstances. It also asks that you participate in a few exercises (not physical ones!) to help better guide you in your time of “crisis”. If you are unsure if you are experiencing a quarterlife crisis, take this quiz that is provided in the book:

  1. Do you feel a need to “have it all”?
  2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life?
  3. Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order?
  4. Do you often feel depressed, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless?
  5. Do you ever feel that time is running out when you try to figure out your career and decide whether you want to get married and/or have children?
  6. Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?
  7. Do you feel that you have failed because you don’t know what you want to do with your life?
  8. Do you over analyze yourself and your decisions?
  9. Do you ever feel guilty for complaining about your life when you’ve lived only about a quarter of it?
  10. Are you embarrassed that you have not figured out or accomplished more?

If you answered yes to five or more, welcome to the club sister, you are experiencing a quarterlife crisis!!!

I failed this test miserably and it was nice to know that I was not alone! This book actually made me feel like I was somewhat normal and that I am not the only woman experiencing these feelings of self doubt. We don’t have to have all the answers now, or ever for that matter. I truly recommend this book to any woman who feels that it may be able to help them in some way. I got Liz to read it and hope more of you will also. (Oh…and the book also has a section on “red-flag men”!!)

Peace, Love and Happiness!

Janice

The two main characters of the story are Amir, a well-to-do Afghan boy, and Hassan, a Hazara the son of Amir’s father’s servant, Ali. The boys spend their days in a peaceful Kabul, kite fighting, roaming the streets and being boys. Amirs father, Baba, loves both the boys, but seems often to favor Hassan for being more manly. He is critical of Amir. Amirs mother died in childbirth, and Amir fears his father blames him for his mothers death. However, he has a kind father figure in the form of Rahim Khan, Babas friend, who understands Amir better, and is supportive of his interest in writing stories.

A notoriously violent older boy with Nazi sympathies, Assef, blames Amir for socializing with a Hazara, according to Assef an inferior race that should only live in Hazarajat. He prepares to attack Amir with his brass knuckles, but Hassan bravely stands up to him, threatening to shoot Assef in the eye with his slingshot. Assef and his henchmen back off, but Assef says he will take revenge.

Hassan is a “kite runner” for Amir, he runs to fetch kites Amir has defeated by cutting their strings. He knows where the kite will land without even seeing it. One triumphant day, Amir wins the local tournament, and finally Baba’s praise. Hassan goes to run the last cut kite, a great trophy, for Amir saying “For you, a thousand times over.” Unfortunately, Hassan runs into Assef and his two henchmen. Hassan refuses to give up Amir’s kite, so Assef extracts his revenge, assaulting and anally raping him. Wondering why Hassan is taking so long, Amir searches for Hassan and hides when he hears Assef’s voice. He witnesses what happens to Hassan but is too scared to help him. Afterwards, for some time Hassan and Amir keep a distance from each other. When Hassan wants to pick up their friendship again Amir holds it off. When people ask what is the matter, Amir reacts indifferently. He feels ashamed, and is frustrated by Hassan’s saint-like behavior and worries that Baba loves Hassan more, and would love him even more if he knew what happened to Hassan and Amir’s cowardly inaction.

To force Hassan to leave, Amir frames him as a thief, and Hassan falsely confesses. Baba forgives him, despite the fact that, as he explained earlier, he believes that “there is no act more wretched than stealing”. Hassan and his father Ali, to Baba’s extreme sorrow, leave anyway. Hassan’s departure frees Amir of the daily reminder of his cowardice and betrayal, but he still lives in their shadow.

A short while later, the Russians invade Afghanistan; Amir and Baba escape to Peshawar, Pakistan and then to Fremont, California, where Amir and Baba, who lived in luxury in an expensive mansion in Afghanistan, settle in a run-down apartment and Baba begins work at a gas station. Amir eventually takes classes at a local community college to develop his writing skills. Every Sunday, Baba and Amir make extra money selling used goods at a flea market in San Jose. There, Amir meets Soraya Taheri and her family; Soraya’s father has contempt of Amir’s literary aspiration. Baba has lung cancer but is still capable to do Amir a big favor: he asks Soraya’s father permission for Amir to marry her. He agrees and the two marry. Shortly thereafter Baba dies. Amir and Soraya learn that they cannot have children.

Amir embarks on a successful career as a novelist. Fifteen years after they said goodbye, Amir receives a call from Rahim Khan, who is dying from an illness, who asks him to come to Pakistan. He enigmatically tells Amir “there is a way to be good again”. Amir goes.

From Rahim Khan, Amir learns the fates of Ali and Hassan. Ali was killed by a land mine. Hassan had a wife and a son, named Sohrab, and had returned to Babas house as a caretaker at Rahim Khans request. One day the Taliban ordered him to give it up and leave, but he refused, and was murdered, along with his wife. And the secret truth about Hassan is that Ali was not his father. He is the son of Baba, and Amir’s half-brother. Finally, Rahim Khan reveals that the true reason he has called Amir to Pakistan is to go to Kabul to rescue Hassan’s son, Sohrab, from an orphanage.

Amir returns to Taliban-controlled Kabul with a guide, Farid, and search for Sohrab at the orphanage. However, he does not find Sohrab there. The director of the orphanage tells them that a Taliban official has recently taken him. He tells him to go to a football match and the man with the sunglasses will be the man who took Sohrab.

Amir goes and secures an appointment with him at his home. There he finds out that the Taliban official is actually his childhood nemesis Assef. Sohrab is made to dance dressed in women’s clothes, and it seems Assef might have been sexually assaulting him (Sohrab later says: “I’m so dirty and full of sin. The bad man and the other two did things to me”). Assef agrees to relinquish him, but only if Amir can beat him in a fight to death, with Sohrab as the prize. Assef brutally beats Amir, but Amir is saved when Sohrab uses his slingshot to shoot out Assef’s left eye, fulfilling the threat his father had made years before.

Amir tells Sohrab of his plans to take him back to America and possibly adopt him, and promises that he will never be sent to an orphanage again. Sohrab is emotionally damaged and refuses to speak. This continues on for about a year until his frozen emotions are temporarily thawed when Amir reminisces about his father, Hassan, while kite flying. Amir shows off some of Hassans tricks, and Sohrab begins to interact with Amir again. In the end Sohrab only shows a lopsided smile, but Amir takes to it with all his heart as he runs the kite for Sohrab, saying, “For you, a thousand times over.” This is a play on the last words spoken to Amir by Hassan before the rape, and denotes the sense of atonement that surrounds the novel. -Obtained onimdb.com

Eat Pray Love

 

EAT PRAY LOVE by; Elizabeth Gilbert

“Gilbert’s journey is full of mystical dreams, visions and uncanny coincidences…Yet for every ounce of self-absorption her classical New-Age journey demands, Gilbert is ready with an equal measure of intelligence, humor and self-deprecation…Gilbert’s wry, unfettered account of her extraordinary journey makes even the most cynical reader dare to dream of someday finding God deep within a meditation cave in India, or perhaps over a transcendent slice of pizza.” by Erika Schickel

Why Men Love Bitches

“Why Men Love Bitches”, which when I first heard the title of this book, I misheard the girl and thought she said “Why Men Live Midgets”, took me a week of justifying why men would love midgets to finally learn that the title was BITCHES…. Made a lot more sense. 

The Book is good for this reason, it teaches you to honor your existance, your happiness as a “one-some” not as a “two-some”. The author made it fun and catchy by calling you a “bitch”, which was a great marketing decision to sell the book. The fact is, too many woman long for love from outside themselves, they try to make themselves anything they think they need to be to gain love from others, and in the end they have no idea why some man doesn’t love the “fake” version of them. Crazy? I don’t think so. Crazy would be if they did love the “fake” version, and then you had to pull that off for the rest of your life.

I had a girlfriend recently call me, and talk to me for an hour about all the things she had done over the last year to make her man happy, this girl literally changed her entire belief system for her new beau…

She stopped going to church, cause he didn’t care to go, and Sundays were one of the only days she got to see this “Prince” she called a boyfriend. She stopped going dancing, because he was no Fred Astaire. She would call him and leave irate messages on his voicemail, normally she was very mild tempered. She explained every little manipulative thing she had tried. (Which by the way, would have scared me to death if I didn’t already know she was not in the movie fatal attraction)

After the conversation had gone on for atleast an hour I stopped her and asked; “Why are you allowing yourself to act like a manipulative, uncaring, crazy person?” She was shocked, and silent, and hurried off the phone. I didn’t hear from her for about two weeks, and I knew I may have over stepped my bounds as a not-so-close friend. When she finally called me back, she thanked me for not blaming her so called “Prince”, and holding her accountable for her own actions.

That’s what the books about, being held accountable for your own actions. The book is rather manipulative with rules like - Don’t bang a guy soon after you meet him, or he will not respect you, or keep trying hard to impress you. Most of us have made the mistake of sleeping with someone at the wrong time, but for me this rule isn’t to make the guy love me or not, it is whether I am ready to give that part of myself to him or not. You can get a lot of great “behaviors” from this book, and fake respecting yourself instead of faking things you think will make him fall in love with you, I guess thats healthier, eventually you might want to think about falling in love with yourself, try writing your own book “Why I Love myself”. Whether or not you are a “Bitch” or a “Midget” is really irrelevant.