Lately I guess I have been noticing Negativity a lot more than ever. About a year ago I had read The Power of Now and The Secret, and although the concept was great, I didn’t really start living it until about 6 months ago. Jason is really easy to live with under this way of thinking because he normally has a very positive outlook on his universe and therefore projects it; I have become that way too. Optimistic to annoyance maybe, but I have found that my life is more abundant now than ever, and the facts are just that, facts.

It has been a real challenge for me to not become negative about Negativity though, when I hear it sometimes I have a tendency to get frustrated, when really, I should just think back to a time not so long ago when my glass was half empty. I know I can change my perspective on that too, it just takes a different angle of looking at it.

Money

Have you ever met someone that works so hard but never has a pot to piss in?

I have, I know a lot of these people, their work ethic is second to none, yet they are constantly complaining about their financial condition. They worry about the moneys of tomorrow even if they have enough money for today. They, by worrying, don’t enjoy the fruits of today, nor tomorrow, they are unhappy, and ungrateful, and therefore they never have security not for even one day. The Secret implies that if you say in your mind “I am worried about not having enough money” the “universe” hears that and cannot differentiate that statement from a request, and therefore gives you “not enough” money.

The key is to be grateful today, and have faith in your tomorrows if they even come.

This does not mean, stop planning for your retirement, or saving for that special goal that you have, it just means have faith that the “universe” or “god” or even “yourself” will provide you with the means to be fruitful for all days.

I have often said in the past that I hate “money”, in fact, I do not hate money, I hate the abusive relationships that people have with their and others money.

“I have and will continue to have Abundance, Thank you”

Relationships

This is a BIG ONE, there are so many people searching for love, upset about love loss, scared of never obtaining love, or even scared of losing the love they have today.

Part of these books that I read a year ago, talked about living in this moment, in this day, but I have found that most people who are not happy with the relationship status that they are in, i.e. single, married, separated, or whatever, are simply living either in the past, or in the future, and some of the real “sad” cases bounce back and forth between, but never EVER stay in the present.

Lets take Single for instance, because a lot of people think this is the worst thing to ever happen to someone, which by far is untrue. So many times these “Singles” bounce between the loves they once had and lost and the loves the may never find in the future, therefore never living for today. When I was single not too long ago, (way before I got this concept) I remember people asking me “Why are you single?” “Why aren’t you married?” “Are you looking for a boyfriend?” the concept that I was perfectly happy was far beyond any notion that they could accept. I was happy, I truly was, and I remember feeling like a bit of a “freak” because I was not nearly as upset at they thought I should be, I wasn’t upset at all.

Maybe because I had a relationship based on love and respect with myself (the first healthy relationship I had ever had, by the way), but I did not long for loves past or loves future, I had love.

Love eventually came to me, and when it did I was calm, and ready to let it sit beside me, I was not too eager, it came in a healthy way. You know with courting, and laughing, and eventually loving and respecting, and then lastly trusting.

I feel the same now as I did when I was single, I just have someone there with me, enjoying some moments.

I won’t drag on too much about marriage and separation. But I do know this if you live in the past or the future when you are in these moments the marriage or separation will with all certainty fail completely. If you need me to talk more to this topic, please feel free to coffee-talk with me about it. I have lived in the past of the marriage, and the future of the marriage and it failed miserably. I have live in the past in separation, and the future in separation, also failed.

Love is not something someone gives you, it is something that you give.

Happiness

I sat at the table a few days ago with a friend, and although the lunch we were having was great I remember my friend looking to another table and commenting on how happy they were, my friend eluded to the fact that they longed for happiness like that. My ego went unhurt, but I thought to myself that happiness is nothing other than being grateful for what is at your table, what blessings you have, and if you continuously look at those blessings, you are bound to be happy.

The key to happiness overall is being thankful or grateful for what the “universe” or your “God” or you “yourself” has given you.

If you are constantly looking at the grass on the other side, you never ever notice how beautiful your own lawn is.

Health

Health is one of the most talked about feelings on earth. How are you feeling?

I have met perfectly healthy people that always complain about their health. Therefore they always feel crappy.

I have met perfectly sick people that never complain about their health. Therefore they always feel great.

The mind is a beautiful powerful tool, I suggest we use it. I suggest we utilize it in everything that we are.

Perspectives

Your Perspective is your only truth. I am thankful for those perspectives in this world that I see as optimistic and healthy, I pray you do too….

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy

Janice convinced me a few months ago to go spend 3 times more on one pair of Jeans than I had ever before….. Let me just say THANK YOU…. My derrière thanks you too.
After I bought these butt-saving Jeans, the compliments started flying my way, complete strangers would say they loved my jeans…. And the way they fit? You feel so great in these things! They just fit “right”.
I went on to shop on EBAY, because after these “wonders” came into my life, I gave away all of my other crappy jeans, so I indead needed MORE… I was able to get 3 more pairs for less than I paid for one pair. My two favorites are 7 for All Mankind and Paige.

These jeans make you “strut” not walk, much cheaper than a personal trainer!

Thanks Janice!!!!

Lizzy

…..AND BUY THE EXPENSIVE JEANS!!!! They do wonders for those with or without a fabulous rear. They will at least give the illusion that you do have one. Some of the jeans that I am referring to would be 7 for All Mankind, True Religion, Paige, Joe’s, Adriano Goldschmied and Rock & Republic. There are many more of course. They do wonders for guys as well. They all fit differently and some will look better on you than others. For example, Joe’s jeans do not look the best on me and don’t form to my particular shape. The best way to determine which ones look best on you is to try on each brand and then ask a sales associate in that area. Don’t be shy about asking “which pair makes my rump look better”! They are used to getting those kinds of questions and if they are a good sales associate they will give you an honest opinion regardless of price. (or you can just take a friend!) If you are in sticker shock you can always try them on in the store and then browse E-Bay for the pair that are most suited for you! I would rather have a single pair of expensive jeans than have a closet full of jeans that don’t fit correctly. Most inexpensive jeans give you what I like to refer to as “dumpy butt”. I’m sure you get the picture. It’s not an attractive one! You will thank me later!

Janice

 EATING RIGHT AND LIVING WELL

“Our biological drives are several millions of years older than our intelligence” 

Arthur E. Morgan

-  You can absorb information for years about various macro-nutrients,  exercises, carbs protein fats low fat sugar no sugar forever and all you end up with is a confusing mismash of often conflicting information. The missing link, the key to bring this all together is hormones.    Within each of us lie enormously powerful biological forces called hormones which literally turn boys into men, girls into women and when they decline they lead strong furtive people into frailty and weakness.  What nobody seems to understand is that everyday we unknowingly are influencing these dynamic forces, and we have the power to control them.  By eating the right things at the right time, we can make ourselves into FAT BURNERS  not SUGAR BURNERS. 

Please take note that I am not a nutritionist, personal trainer or doctor and I am not going to sit here and give you a menu of what to eat.  If you truly want to take control of your health, physique, overall longevity and quality of life,  you need to understand your body, understand what it is you are doing to it and decide how you want to live your life, as a sugar burner, or a fat burner.   As an ager or a non-ager.   I was lost in a sea of advice, stupid diet plans and misinformation until I sat down and understood the concepts below.  

• Every meal / snack generates a hormonal response

• hormones are the key to your biological makeup

• some meals / snacks put you in a beneficial, fat burning state, whereas others put you in a detrimental, fat-storing state.

• Therefore, eating can be good or bad depending on the hormonal response it generates.

Boredom Warning : If you are not interested in taking the time to understand the underlying processes that control your body composition and health, then you are missing the point entirely, and you are destined for failure and should either go eat a doughnut and ignore the rest of this article, or scroll down to the “what to eat and when”  section, and then go eat a doughnut.

THE HORMONAL RESPONSE TO FOOD.

Each time you eat you provoke a storm of hormonal activity, and you prospectively influence the state of your body and mind for the ensuing several hours in 4 ways.

1. fuel usage -  whether you will burn fat or store fat.

2. Mental State - Whether you will experience an alert, clear-headed state of mind or a sluggish, foggy state of mind - or something in between.

3. Energy Level

4. Appetite - Whether or not you will experience food cravings.

EATING SHOULD BE VIEWED NOT AS AN EVENT LIMITED TO HOW LONG IT TAKES TO SWALLOW THE FOOD BUT RATHER AS A MEANS OF PRIMING YOUR BIOCHEMISTRY FOR THE ENSUING FOUR HOURS IN TERMS OF FAT BURNING / STORAGE, MENTAL STATE, ENERGY LEVELS AND APPETITE.

We’ve all heard of the term “you are what you eat”   what I am saying here is  “you will become what you eat”.  

4 Hormones you should get to know

Growth Hormone -  (Somatotropin)

• The most potent anti-aging force

• The most potent fat burning hormone

• Builds muscle, influences cholesterol level

• Keeps us young and vital

• Declines with age

• When injected, results in dramatic anti-aging, followed by a host of complications - like steroids you cannot just shoot someone with exogenous hormones and expect long term health.

• Our dietary habits, exercise and lifestyle choices can boost our growth hormone levels,  effectively slowing, stopping or reversing aging.

Insulin

• Works with its inversely paired hormone, glucagon, to regulate blood sugar levels

• Has a long term impact on your “fat set-point”

• When it is too predominant, as in type 2 diabetes, results in obesity

• When it is too deficient, as in type 1 diabetes, results in drastic weight loss and sickness

• Is secreted when blood sugar rises, it shuttles it to its destination or converts it to glycogen for storage as FAT

• The primary fat storage vehicle

• Keeping control of this hormone is critical to permanent fat loss

• The insulin / glucagon axis is the pivot point for body composition, health, energy levels, mental productivity and emotional well-being

• We can manipulate insulin levels to our advantage!

• Insulin also shuttles amino acids and nutrients needed to repair and build muscle (anabolic)  This is the good and vital side of insulin.

Glucagon

• Works with its inversely paired hormone, insulin, to regulate blood sugar levels

• Is activated when blood sugar levels drop

• Takes the glycogen, stored by insulin, and converts it back to blood sugar for use.

• Whereas insulin takes blood sugar and makes it into fat,  glucagon is the guy who turns your fat back into blood sugar for use

• If your body is constantly in Sugar Burning Mode, glucagon can also turn muscle into blood sugar through a process called gluconeogenesis,  this is what happens to diabetics, and those who starve themselves or restrict calories,  they wither away, they age quickly and their body is out of balance. 

Cortisol

• Released as a response to stress

• can be triggered by dramatic drops in blood sugar level (which can happen several times a day for a sugar burner)

• A very efficient muscle destroyer

• Corresponds with faster bone lose in the elderly

• Makes you old and fat, basically

Respect your ancestors.

Genetic adaptation is a slow process.   The human genome differs only 1.6 percent from that of chimpanzees and researchers believe that 5 million years have past since the two species diverged. 

Given the millions of years required for genetic adaptation to occur, any changes that occurred in the human diet over the last few thousand years really haven’t changed our genetic blueprint all that much.    This means that we are still running on the same biological machine that have served our ancestors for 4 million years.   Put in perspective, the processed, mass produced high carb foods we eat today have only been around for 200 years, yet the obesity rate in 1999 surpassed 50% in the u.s.   Do you think 50% of cave men were obese?

Respecting your ancestors does not mean that we need to move to the jungle, live in caves and star in car insurance commercials.  What it means is we need to eat a cyclic diet consisting of protein, good fat and natural complex carbohydrates.   By cyclical,  I mean on a schedule that makes sense to optimize good hormones, promote leanness and overall health, and place our body into FAT BURNING MODE instead of SUGAR BURNING MODE  Cave men did not have a set time of day they ate, they ate when food was plentiful and hunted or gathered when it wasn’t.   If we eat 6 smaller meals a day instead of 3, 2 or even 1 meal a day, our metabolic rate stays running, if we starve ourselves our metabolic engine just idles down to make up for it and we have little vitality, little energy and we feel horrible.

SUGAR BURNING MODE - The roller coaster

The human body is an incredible machine,  it can run on many different fuel sources.   It stands to reason that over the course of evolution, natural selection favored those who could survive eating as many different food sources as possible.  We are omnivores.   In our modern society we have the choice on what to use as a fuel source for our bodies.   

All carbohydrates turn into blood sugar during digestion.

When this happens, insulin is secreted by the pancreas to take this blood sugar out of the bloodstream and do something with it.  Insulin is a sugar conveyor belt.   The first stop on the conveyor belt is your liver and your muscles as glycogen.  If you haven’t had any carbohydrates for a few days the carb meal will simply be turned into this usable energy called glycogen and be stored for on demand use. 

Here’s the problem,  if the muscles and liver are already fueled up,  the next stop is your fat cells,  for storage.  This system is designed for the type of carbohydrates that existed prior to us messing up the earth with fast food and processed food.  They generally were complex carbohydrates that took quite a while to process.    

The end result, once this process is over with and the blood sugar level drops down to normalized levels, we feel a certain uptick of brain chemistry that makes us feel good - satiated - centered.   Its our brain chemistry rewarding us for surviving another day, a tool for survival.   As the blood sugar level dips down again, we feel hungry and the process starts again.

Our bodies do not have a warning signal for “obesity”, by the way . . .

When we throw a simple processed carbohydrate that some scientist came up with in a lab somewhere like a twinkie into our body, it short circuits the process.   It’s like putting jet fuel into a lawnmower.   The high density sugar laden food digests very quickly,  slams our blood sugar up - insulin shoots up to counteract this surge in blood sugar.   Now the feeling of well being has been amplified to elation, a condition that can be addictive, a sugar high, a serotonin boost brought on by the release of another hormone, tryptophan,  whatever you call it, it can be addictive, especially with those who are prone to depression.   

Once this happens, the surge of insulin quickly slams the blood sugar way down and suddenly the emotional high is gone,  the blood sugar is way too low.  Very low blood sugar sounds a survival alarm in your brain which was installed there millions of years ago.  For example, you had McDonald’s and 10 krispy kremes yesterday,  you know that your body is full of glycogen in your liver.   You know you have plenty of fat cells available for energy.   But you feel hungry, even though you just ate a doughnut an hour ago.   This is because your body is in sugar burning mode, which sends your blood sugar on such high peaks and valleys that even though you are not really in need of any food to survive, the low blood sugar condition, brought on by the eating of high density carbs has triggered an alarm and cause you to feel hungry.

When you eat simple carbs all day long, you are constantly setting and putting out fires inside your body all day long.   When your body is busy putting out fires, how can it not age?   How can it be healthy?   Our bodies were not designed to eat these high density carbohydrate foods that were introduced into the human diet in the 19th century. 

• They are foreign to our metabolism

• They induce an aggressive insulin response and a consequent insulin/glucagon imbalance

• Insulin and Glucagon naturally flow in dynamic tension as long as blood sugar remains reasonably stable,  which was the case for most of human existence

• These roller coaster up and downs create cravings, emotional responses to food , addictions to food, etc

• These carbs put you on a vicious cycle of ups and downs and creates hormonal hunger

Hormonal Hunger

When a sugar burner eats these simple, high density carbs, during each blood sugar downcycle they are likely to experience symptoms such as:

• anxiety

• bad mood

• light headedness

• poor concentration

• cognitive impairment

Starving for sugar the brain sends a resounding message to the body “EAT”  even though all common sense tells you that you are not going to die of starvation any time soon. - this is hormonal hunger

Hormonal hunger manifests itself as a craving for

• cookies

• cake

• candy

• french fries

• you know what it is for you, mine is cheesecake and mcdonalds french fries.

Under the influence of these cravings you are more likely to overeat on these foods which will create soaring insulin levels and restart the whole downward spiral over again as they are helped along by the infinite assortment of refined carbohydrate laden foods that have become a part of American culture.  Many people go through their entire life yanked from pillar to post by hormonal hunger and the cravings it produces.

THEY MAY NEVER REALIZE THAT WHAT THEY PERCEIVE TO BE HUNGER IS REALLY A SYMPTOM OF HORMONAL IMBALANCE AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE NEED FOR CALORIES OR NUTRIENTS.

WHEN A SUGAR BURNER DEPRIVED OF SUGAR REACHES FOR A CARBOHYDRATE SNACK IT HAS AS MUCH TO DO WITH HUNGER AS AN ALCOHOLIC REACHING FOR A BOTTLE OF LIQUOR HAS TO DO WITH THIRST.

BRAIN CHEMISTRY ADDICTION AND WHAT WE HAVE DONE TO OURSELVES

Another component of the sugar burner’s hormonal hunger trap is the effect of insulin on the neurotransmitter serotonin.  Eating a carbohydrate rich meal raises levels of tryptophan which results in a serotonin boost in the brain.  Serotonin gives a feeling of well being, satiety and comfort.  A simple google search about serotonin gives us things like this :

Serotonin is a chemical that helps maintain a “happy feeling,” and seems to help keep our moods under control by helping with sleep, calming anxiety, and relieving depression. The brain also makes Dopamine, which makes people more talkative and excitable. It affects  brain processes that control movement, emotional response, and ability to experience pleasure and pain. All of these chemicals are natural chemicals that affect our bodily processes.

Besides being involved in the process of addiction, low Serotonin levels are believed to be the reason for many cases of mild to moderate depression which can lead to symptoms like anxiety, apathy, fear, feelings of worthlessness, insomnia and fatigue. We are learning that depression is related to and a number of other health issues. Depression is the nation’s most prevalent mental health problem, affecting about 15 million Americans who spend about $3 billion a year on drugs to battle it. Almost all of these medicines target either serotonin or norepinephrine, brain chemicals which are neurotransmitters.

It has long been observed that people tend to reach for sweets when they are upset, depressed or anxious.  Studies on P.M.S. and seasonal affective disorder show that the craving is not as much for the sweet food itself, but for the tranquilizing serotonin-boost elicited by eating the food.   Too much serotonin can have the opposite affect.  

Therefore eating a lot of sweets can temporarily assuage the all too common depressed feeling we all know very well.  Having too many can overload us with seratonin creating an opposite affect making the person anxious and grumpy.   Which makes them reach for more sweets for the temporary relief. 

Does this cycle of chasing a sense of self being and an escape from depression sound familiar?

FAT BURNING MODE - MAKING THE METABOLIC SHIFT

Do you still think that carbohydrates are the body’s preferred energy source?   

If you are depleted of glycogen stores and you need instant energy for high intensity work like weightlifting, carbs are the most efficient thing you could eat to get that quick boost.   But, FAT IS THE BODY’S OPTIMAL FUEL SOURCE FOR 95% OF DAILY ACTIVITY.   Fat yields 2 1/4 times more energy per gram than carbohydrates.   It is a more stable longer burning fire than glycogen (sugar) .   Sugar is a gas torch and fat is a slow burning wood fire.   the average 150 lb person has enough bodyfat stored to walk from Ft. Lauderdale to new york city without eating. 

Just as you do not need redwood to build a red house, you do not need to eat fat to get fat.   Your body can convert carbohydrate and even protein into bodyfat and when fat storage hormones are activated, that is exactly what happens. 

It does not matter how much fat you eat, it matters how much fat you store.  When your body is tuned to using fat for energy, your body uses up your bodyfat and the fat you eat very efficiently.

The aim of eating healthy for a lifetime is to activate a metabolic shift from being a sugar burner, which you probably have been your whole life,  to a fat burner.  The fat burning state is the natural one which millions of years of evolution created and we broke in 200 years.  

WHAT TO EAT AND WHEN

step one - getting out of the sugar burning mode.  duration - 7 days

Simply stated, you are going to teach your body, by not eating carbohydrates,  to use fat for energy.   It is a period of adjustment, and the first 3 or 4 days are quite painful.   If you commit yourself to this shift, you will be rewarded for a lifetime.

In order to get out of sugar burning mode, you have to see to it that glucose, in the form of glycogen stores,  is not available to your metabolism.   As this glycogen becomes unavailable, your hybrid engine with start to look for energy (ATP)  from a different source - FAT.

After making this shift, fat will replace sugar as your primary source of energy.   You will be switching from low octane to high octane - remember fat has more calories per gram than sugars do - and if you are still reading this you probably have some bodyfat on your body,  use it for energy, burn it up and say goodbye to it.

During the first 4 days you will experience the “sugar burner deprived of sugar”hormonal hunger cravings, they will subside.

During this 7 day period :

• eat less than 20 grams of active carbs per day (fiber carbs are ok to have more of as they do not raise insulin)

• eat 4-6 times a day in smaller portions instead of 2 or 3

• focus on meat during this time period. 

• eat as much fat as you want, it will curb the cravings

• vegetables are all wonderful

What not to eat during this time period :

• no sugars

• no fruits (they have carbs too)

After this first week  - from day 8 on :

We are going to use macronutrient cycling,  which just means you are going to have proteins and fats most of the time and every once in a while you are going to have a low fat high carb meal called a “carb load”

This cyclical nature allows you variety and allows you to eat whatever high carb yummy diet food that you love , provided you do it at the right time.

• For 3 days you have standard fat burning meals only

• on day 4 you have standard meals except you replace one meal with a carb load meal.

• then you go 2 more days having standard fat burning meals

• then 1 carb load day

• and repeat

• So every 3 or 4 days respectively, you are replenishing your body’s glycogen stores by eating one high carb meal that day.  That really is all the carbohydrates you need for energy,  even if you are working out vigorously, try it!

the 2 types of meals

standard fat burning meals

•  less than 25 active carbs per meal, predominantly from starch carbs, not simple sugars

• keep your daily intake of carbs under 60 grams on standard meal days.

•  try to have a moderate amount of fat, try to have more good omega 3 and unsaturated fats, but don’t stress it too much. 

• 15-50 grams of protein per meal  (1 to 1.5 grams per pound of bodywieght is a good calculation to use, but it is not gospel, just get enough protein.

• stimulates fat burning enzymes

• stimulates fat burning hormones like growth hormone and glucagon

• stimulates muscle building hormones like insulin, growth hormone, IGF-1 and testosterone

• keeps your pool of amino acids topped off, the building blocks for cells

carb load meal

•  as many carbs as you want to have during this meal, 40 for women and 60 for men is a good range to shoot for.

• less than 20 grams of fat in the meal,  when you eat carbs and fat together - the fat gets stored, not burned.

• less than 20 grams of protein,  while less critical, the protein gets in the way.

• refuels glycogen stores for use in your muscles and for daily activities that require bursts of energy.

• provides variety and pleasure

• prevents decline in thyroid activity

• drink a lot of water

• avoid sodas, juices and try to keep away from any calorie-containing fluids besides protein shakes,  they are all useless.

Here is an example of how I accomplish this :

 Monday,Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday looks like this

• Meal 1 (9 am)  -  isopure low carb protein drink >  from the vitamin shoppe,  40 some grams of protein, not much else in it

• Meal 2 (1pm)    -  Boston market 1/4 chicken, steamed vegetables, ice tea  45 grams of protein, there are a few carbs in the veggies, but not much

• Meal 3 (4pm)  -  pure protein bar - 40 grams of protein, a few carbs

• Meal 4 (7pm)  -  Dinner >  some form of meat and minimal complex carbs like potato or rice, etc.

 Wednesday and Saturday look like this

• Meal 1 (9 am)  -  isopure low carb protein drink >  from the vitamin shoppe,  40 some grams of protein, not much else in it

• Meal 2 (1pm)    -  Boston market 1/4 chicken, steamed vegetables, ice tea  45 grams of protein, a few carbs in the veggie, not much

• Meal 3 (4pm)  -  pure protein bar - 40 grams of protein, a few carbs

• Meal 4 (7pm)  -  Carb Load dinner >  tons of pizza, tons of pasta, or whatever sounds good and doesn’t have too much fat or protein in it

Once you take an interest in the ingredients of what you eat, it’s not that hard to find out what is in what.   Most restaurants have websites listing their nutritional data.

The point isn’t to get too hung up on the details, get hung up on how your body works.  Get used to the idea that the american diet is for shit and make the commitment to take yourself apart and put yourself together again anew, I guaranteee you’ll feel better and live a longer, healthier life.

That said, next time we’ll talk about exercise . . .

Respect & Love,

Jammy 

Wow, I love this subject. I have been saying for years that causing your child to be obese should be child abuse. Notice I used the word CAUSING. We, as parents, are the cause. Our children are the effect. I am so sick and tired of hearing parents complain. “Bobby” just won’t eat anything else, “Suzy” only likes —– (insert your desired name of something, like donuts or sugar cereal). And then they follow it up with. “I can’t” help it, control them, stop them, get them to,…. A huge array of excuses. What it comes down to.. I’m too lazy to…

I’m sure that I am touching a nerve on some people, but those are the ones that need this. Here is the truth. Your children can’t eat what you don’t buy. So what if they throw a fit in the store about not getting what they want. Suck it up. Ignore them and buy what you know it better for them, and leave. After a couple of unsuccessful tries, they will stop the fit throwing. And yes, there will be relapses. They will see a new commercial and try the fit again the next time, but here is what you need to say. “I said NO”

Do you think you are harming them by saying “NO”? Nope, you are harming them by saying “YES”!

Your children won’t eat what isn’t in your home. For example, some kids are snackers. I have one. So my fridge is filled with grapes, carrots, tomatos, WATER,…. They are CHILDREN. You are the PARENT. Your job it to protect them.

Why would you say yes to something that causes harm. Rat poison, cleaners, chemicals… those poison our children, so at a small age, we put locks on our cabinets and tell our children no,no, that is bad, it will hurt you. Not a big deal, right. So instead we fill them with crap that hurts them. Causing obesity, diabetes, thyroid problems, knee pain, low self esteem…. an endless list. Why don’t we tell them NO to the bad overindulgant food? We are poisoning our children!

Please don’t think I am preaching, being self righteous. I have two children. Both that love pastries, and candy, and cake, and pop….But here is the kicker. I only allow them on occasions, and then in small increments. Then they are special. I am teaching my children not to over indulge, not to turn to food, not to become obese! I struggle with my weight, a large number of my family does. But MY CHILDREN DON”T AND THEY WON”T. As parents our job is to give them the tools they need to succeed. I am giving them these tools. Self control, and appreciation. Self control is a tool that will work in any situation through life. School, work, anywhere. and so is Appreciation. They appreciate something special. If you give your kid a plate cake everyday, then why be excited to have birthday cake. If you give them fast food everyday, then what is a special occasion (probably a home cooked meal). OUR CHILDREN ARE THE ME GENERATION!!! And WE are CAUSING the problem.

I have chosen not to put my children in a bad situation, thus the child abuse comment at the beginning of this comment. If you are putting your children is a bad situation, it’s neglect and abuse. So Stop! Put the crap back on the grocery shelf, back out of the drive through, and dump out the can of pop. Pick up some fruit, fill a glass of water, and go on a walk!-Kate

“Hi my name is Pete and I have addictions.”

I am a smoker, coffee and alcohol drinker. Out of all of them smoking is defiantly the addiction. How did I get this way? Like all Americans I was taught two things from our culture; one, immediate reward compared to long term is easier and acceptable. Two, if you don’t like the way to feel, consume something to make you feel different. Of the two, I think the latter is more pervasive and subtle in our society, so I am going to delve into that and save the first for another day.

My ex-wife laughed one day because she overheard me talking to our infant son. He had been crying and as I gave him a bottle I said, “here, at least this will make you feel different.” Okay, I had read it somewhere in a book and applied it to my baby. But that is what we do here in our culture, we find ways to avoid unpleasantness by basically changing the subject. We assume that it will make us feel better or even happy but really all we do is assert another sense to make us feel different. I feel rejected and hurt; so I eat some ice cream now I feel full. I feel like a failure in my marriage; so I have sex with someone at a bar now I feel desirable. I feel like a looser; so I do a line of coke and now I feel like a winner. Think about why some people buy excessive shoes, outfits, boats, etc. This all stems from when we were little and we were asked, “Do you want a cookie? It will make you feel better.” It does not make us feel better, because it has not solved what is making us feel bad. If this is the only defense mechanism we know as adults what else can we possible teach our children?

Unfortunately Liz you plea will not produce the effect that you desire. Instead of waking them up, they will feel guilty and ashamed. Those feelings are very unpleasant and they have only one defense mechanism to cope…-Pete

Today when I walked into Starbucks I saw what I might find most offensive in Parenting…..

Why is it that overweight parents don’t mind killing their children? 

I walked into Starbucks today on my way to the grocery store (always better to have coffee with you at the grocery, curbs your hunger), I saw a woman that was probably 250 pounds, and I need not discribe her height, because unless she was 8 foot tall (which she wasn’t) at any normal height she is grossly over weight. This was not anything that offended me, I learned to ignore obesity a long time ago, sure it is the powerful ship that is sinking our nation, I just choose daily not to be on the ship. I simply feel sorry when I see someone that won’t stop eating. I have stopped giving random advise, even when asked, portion control, exercise, blah, blah, blah, everyone knows what cures this killer, but still it never stops.

Behind this oversized woman was a little boy about my niece Alex’s age. You could tell that he was a well behaved child, based on his general demeanor. She had already made her selections when I stepped up to order my Tall Latte, when I did move up to the counter a parade of pastries past by my nose, the clerk handing them to the mother. The pastries were oversized just like every other portion ordered in America today. So between ordering and picking up my prized Latte, I went to the washroom as I often do to not waste any time.

By the time I got back, this little boy had consumed the better part of the “way too big” pastry. When I looked at them, they were not talking, just eating, and a feeling of sadness came over me.

Here she has this darling little boy or what should be a little boy, truth be told he had me by I am sure ten pounds, and he now has a weight problem. Why?

My judgement is of ignorance. Can someone help me understand why these mothers who are overweight themselves cast the same hell upon the child?

A mothers love is stonger than any love, but we see these children killed by the one who is supposed to love them more than anyone else. Does sugar equal love? With all the information at our fingertips; how can these children get left behind, and if the mother will not fight for them, who will?

According to  Alvin Poussaint, M.D. 20% of our children in this country are obese.

If 20% of our children had lets say Polio we’d be freaking out. Why are we not freaking out now? Obesity leads to diabetes…..  Which can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney disease, stroke, limb amputations, and blindness. Okay, this is freaking me out….. The only thing that I can say to everyone is “HELP”!

What are we blaming right now?

1- Video Games

2- Fast Food

3- T.V.

Those are the major ones, but I am going to step up and say unless one of you guys can convince me differently, this is the parents fault. 100%.

20% of our children are struggling, and that means 20% of our parents just don’t care, and if they say they do care, they don’t care enough.

Here is my advise-

1- STOP SUGAR

Both the parents and the children… Only special occasions (you might want to give your child the gift of not expecting special occasions all the time, this will be a lot easier when they grow up and special occasions rarely happen anyway, that means once a week. That is it.

2- Stop Fast Food

It is so crappy for you both, just stop eating it. Once a month maybe treat yourselves, if ever!  It will literally kill you and kill your kid, watch the movie “Super Size Me”. If you can eat Fast Food after that, maybe you need counsiling for the addiction.

3- Get Moving

In the morning, before you lose your will to let your child live (a healthy long life that is), go on a walk, dance for twenty minutes, hoola hoop for twenty minutes, DO SOMETHING. Do something in the morning to remind yourself all day long that you are resposible for that person you brought into this world. The world can be somewhat crappy sometimes, why make it harder than it already is?

4- Watch the show “Honey We’re Killing the Kids” 

Watch it with your child. Make them a part of your new healthy life. The truth is you are killing your child both in body and spirit.

I have noticed if the parent is overweight the child is likely to be too. Now I have no idea if parents just don’t get that if it isn’t working for themselves it probably won’t work for the child either, or if they don’t think that it is wrong to put the kid through the same thing they go through. The health hazards alone would be worth stopping for, but that isn’t the worst of it, they either get teased to DEATH at school, they become a bully so they don’t get teased, or they make fun of themselves all day so no one has the chance to rip them apart. NONE of these are healthy mindsets to be in. You are setting them up for major failure as an adult.

If they get teased all day, they will have to prove themselves for years after school to become balanced. Not to mention how “fat” people are treated as an adult, even in the workplace. I am not saying that it is fair, I am saying that is how it is.

If they are a Bully, that crap doesn’t work in the real world, so they won’t know how to solve anything when they get out into it. Problem solving is not beating up or threatening someone in the real world. We have all had that boss, the one that doesn’t last long, remember him/her? I do, he was always kindly referred to as the “asshole”.

If they make fun of themselves all the time, the most powerful person they have influencing them is themselves, they start to believe the things they say…. If all they are doing is putting themselves down they will be down. Down is no where to start in the real world. Down may be where you are, please for your childs sake, get back up, fight, if for no one else, your child.

PLEASE STOP PARENTS… YOUR CHILDREN ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!!!!

HELP!

Your opinions are GREATLY needed…. HELP me understand…..

Lizzy