I had an AH HA moment last week and I really need to share this with everyone.  There was a commercial where a mother starts yelling at her child in a store, there are are other customers all saying that someone should do something.  A woman grabs a mirror and holds it up in front of the mom.  Wow!  I think that is the best thing ever!  Try it yourself.   In any situation use a mirror to determine your mood and how you are reacting.  Before you go into any situation, look in the mirror and remember how you look.  If your children are arguing with you and you are losing your temper, look in the mirror.   If you have to deal with a pain in the butt, or negative person, look in the mirror and put on the happiest most confident face.  What you see in the reflection will really effect your mood and how you handle your life.  The frustration and irritation will leave your mood and mind, if you look in the mirror and throw on your good face, it will really make you happy and confident.  Wow!  It gives a new definition to “what you see is what you get”. 

Now I know why Liz has soooo many mirrors in her home.  I am putting up more everyday.

Katie

Janice convinced me a few months ago to go spend 3 times more on one pair of Jeans than I had ever before….. Let me just say THANK YOU…. My derrière thanks you too.
After I bought these butt-saving Jeans, the compliments started flying my way, complete strangers would say they loved my jeans…. And the way they fit? You feel so great in these things! They just fit “right”.
I went on to shop on EBAY, because after these “wonders” came into my life, I gave away all of my other crappy jeans, so I indead needed MORE… I was able to get 3 more pairs for less than I paid for one pair. My two favorites are 7 for All Mankind and Paige.

These jeans make you “strut” not walk, much cheaper than a personal trainer!

Thanks Janice!!!!

Lizzy

…..AND BUY THE EXPENSIVE JEANS!!!! They do wonders for those with or without a fabulous rear. They will at least give the illusion that you do have one. Some of the jeans that I am referring to would be 7 for All Mankind, True Religion, Paige, Joe’s, Adriano Goldschmied and Rock & Republic. There are many more of course. They do wonders for guys as well. They all fit differently and some will look better on you than others. For example, Joe’s jeans do not look the best on me and don’t form to my particular shape. The best way to determine which ones look best on you is to try on each brand and then ask a sales associate in that area. Don’t be shy about asking “which pair makes my rump look better”! They are used to getting those kinds of questions and if they are a good sales associate they will give you an honest opinion regardless of price. (or you can just take a friend!) If you are in sticker shock you can always try them on in the store and then browse E-Bay for the pair that are most suited for you! I would rather have a single pair of expensive jeans than have a closet full of jeans that don’t fit correctly. Most inexpensive jeans give you what I like to refer to as “dumpy butt”. I’m sure you get the picture. It’s not an attractive one! You will thank me later!

Janice

I was having one of my usual days, what book is going to make me feel better, or at least “normal”, and decided to venture off to Borders! It’s one of my favorite places and I love the smell of coffee (imagine that)! I stumbled upon a book entitled 20 Something, 20 Everything, by Christine Hassler. It pretty much describes how women in their early twenties to early thirties are experiencing what is now being called a “quarterlife crisis”. Most everyone has heard of a mid-life crisis, but the quarterlife crisis happens to young women who are unsure of their goals and purpose in life. We are expected by society to be a multitude of different things and most of us have been told since we were little girls that we can be anything we want to be. It’s wonderful that women now have the opportunity to make that happen. We are expected to be mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, career wife, etc. We can have it all! That is the stressful part. Most of us don’t know who we are, what we want or how to get it. This book gives specific examples of women who are going through the same circumstances. It also asks that you participate in a few exercises (not physical ones!) to help better guide you in your time of “crisis”. If you are unsure if you are experiencing a quarterlife crisis, take this quiz that is provided in the book:

1. Do you feel a need to “have it all”?
2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life?
3. Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order?
4. Do you often feel depressed, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless?
5. Do you ever feel that time is running out when you try to figure out your career and decide whether you want to get married and/or have children?
6. Are you stressed out by choices that seemingly will affect the rest of your life?
7. Do you feel that you have failed because you don’t know what you want to do with your life?
8. Do you over analyze yourself and your decisions?
9. Do you ever feel guilty for complaining about your life when you’ve lived only about a quarter of it?
10. Are you embarrassed that you have not figured out or accomplished more?

If you answered yes to five or more, welcome to the club sister, you are experiencing a quarterlife crisis!!!

I failed this test miserably and it was nice to know that I was not alone! This book actually made me feel like I was somewhat normal and that I am not the only woman experiencing these feelings of self doubt. We don’t have to have all the answers now, or ever for that matter. I truly recommend this book to any woman who feels that it may be able to help them in some way. I got Liz to read it and hope more of you will also. (Oh…and the book also has a section on “red-flag men”!!)

Peace, Love and Happiness!

Janice

I have never found any virtue in “stay the course” and “sticking to your guns.” In today’s political climate you hear these phrases thrown around and it makes me wince. Because what they are saying is “I believe in something wrong and I am impress that they can ignore how wrong they are.” I shutter when I hear people say there is no such thing as global warming. I know back in the 80’s and early 90’s I said the same thing; such as “this could be a natural occurrence.” I said these things back then because I did not like the implications of agreeing with it. It made me uncomfortable. 15 years latter I am wiser, I realize that facts are facts, evidence can not be ignored, and just because I do not like it does not make less real. I want to live my life with as little falsehoods as possible, which means that I have to change my opinion and ideas when new things come and affect them. Faith in something, implies that you will not change your believe; and some think changing your ideas is a bad thing. I do not. It means that you can adapt to situations as they come up. It also indirectly, strengthens those things I believe, because I understand why I have come to that conclusion and I know what it would take to change them. It is work. I think Bayes theorem demonstrates how changing your decision can improve your chances of success. Unfortunately, it is human nature to not want to think. We want to collect a comfortable world view and make all your decisions based on that world view without ever questioning or changing it. To simply have the faith that you are always right.

Pete

Sorry it has talken so long for me to reply, to Kelly, the deodorizers I found were really cheap. Only a couple of bucks for 2 of them. And I have used the 3m filters for years. Because of our children having asthma, we change them every 2-3 weeks. And majority of furnaces don’t offer permanant filters that are washable. I know that we can’t use them and if you try to clean a filter then there is no way of knowing that you are really getting rid of the bacteria and germs. We only use the disposables. I apologize to all the landfills, but it keeps my girls healthy. I have more confidence in using new. And most people know that I don’t like to spend money so very rarely will I recommend a product with a high cost. Good luck

Loss of Control

Everyone asks me after they meet my mother, what was it like to grow up with her?

Well, I could tell example after example of funny situations and different ways that she handled things. She was not like most mothers, although all the same things did happen, we were fed, educated, bathed, and loved, but I look back and my mother didn’t treat us like children, she treated us like human beings, and expected us to act accordingly.

As a matter of fact, when we would start to act like idiots she would simple say, “Go to your room until you can act like a human being”.

I would go to my room, puzzled, and I would sit and think about how a human acts? Obviously, according to my mother, a human apparently doesn’t punch her sister in the face, or throw a fit, or what ever I was doing to land myself in this position. With that simple question she slowly taught me the behaviors that were acceptable in the outside world.

The one thing that I don’t remember about my childhood is my mother ever losing her composer, she never yelled, never flew off the handle, and never showed any weakness. That doesn’t mean that we never got “spanked”, she handled that more like a covert operation, you never knew when that was coming, BOOM, you were checked.

The funny thing was, when we did get spanked, she turned and went on with her day, as if nothing had ever happened, not bothered in the least. Now that I am older and we are friends, she tells me that it killed her to discipline us, but back then we never knew it, we thought perhaps she may even like it.

I hear a lot that these parents are “stressed”. I do understand that parents today, more than ever, have stresses that go beyond money, schedules, marital, and emotional problems, but let me ask, what does that have to do with your choice to bring this human to earth?

My thought here is that these parents that I sometimes see screaming at their children, losing all control, threatening, and showing the kid that they cannot control themselves must feel constant failure. A five year old or even sixteen year old can make you lose control? Where does that put the power?

How are we letting these children raise us?

Why do adult humans let young humans have the reigns?

As parents, don’t you have the responsibility of controlling the situation, or even yourselves?

Thanks Mom, for never making me feel like I was driving the bus…

These Little humans should never feel like Big humans shouldn’t have their crap together, because when they become Big humans they will feel like it is okay to not take responsibility for the bus.

Lizzy

I have done my best to keep “Politics” off letscoffeetalk.com over the last few months. The reason that I have not focused on this election on this site is because I wanted women and men of all walks of life to enjoy getting together for discussion with friends.

I need to discuss something about politics today because I feel that in my heart of hearts, this subject could be the most important subject thus far in this election, and I want to call to action my fellow females as American women, strong women, and fair women to step up and make a informed choice.

The Republican Party nominated a woman as their Vice Presidential Candidate this week named Sarah Palin. This was a decision made by the Republican Party to sway some of the “Hilary” voters to jump onboard; it was not John McCain’s first choice, but his final choice none the less.

While it is “ground breaking” to have a woman nominated into office, as well as exciting, I want us “as women” to remember what it means to be “equals”. Years ago when our mothers and grandmothers fought to be “equals” and fought for “women’s rights” they stood strong that we were just as good as any man with the same qualifications. We could essentially do anything a man could do, and they fought hard to get us where we are today. THEY FOUGHT HARD FOR US not to be set aside because we are a woman, they wanted us to be “equals”.

They did not want us to be chosen just because we are females either, they wanted “equality”.  

I beg you as American women to please not use the vote that our foremothers fought for without looking at all the facts. If you were going to vote for Hilary Clinton and are considering voting for Sarah Palin instead, here are a few differences in what they believe, if you chose to vote for Sarah Palin because you believe with her, so be it, but you must know and respect the differences.

1)      Sarah Palin is Pro-Life, or more importantly Anti-choice. Even in the event of incest or rape, she does not believe that we, as women, are the best judges for our bodies.

2)      She believes in teaching Abstinence ONLY for sex education.   

3)      Sarah Palin does not believe in equal pay for equal work for women. According to the McCain campaign she supports it, but in fact she opposes the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.

4)      Sarah Palin does not believe in providing affordable healthcare to all. (Not free, but Affordable)

5)      Sarah Palin believes in the war in Iraq, although she openly admits that she has no plan for the war.

6)      Sarah Palin believes that drilling is the major “answer” to our oil crisis.

7)      Sarah Palin does NOT believe that Global warming is cause by humans.

      Sarah Palin does not support Gay Unions, although she has “friends” that are “gay”, they are “good enough” to be her friend, but not good enough for health/retiree benefits.    

9)      Sarah Palin has not protected Endangered Species, she threatened to sue the Federal Government for putting Polar Bears in the Endangered Species List warning that “it would adversely affect energy development in Alaska”. She also opposed strengthening protection on the Beluga Whales in Alaska’s Cook Inlet, where oil and gas development has been proposed, on economic grounds.

Please vote based on the Nominees Principals and Values. If you believe the same way as Palin does, by all means, but if you don’t believe the same way, vote accordingly….

Just because someone is a woman does not mean that they are like you.

I plead that you do not let our foremothers hard SERVICE go unappreciated.

Thank you to all the women that fought for equality, I will NOT let you down,

Lizzy 

This morning I awoke early, as I always do, but today, I woke to find a new day, one that looks beautiful, and although some of my loved friends still have their “problems” I will only offer solutions, and I will not take it to my heart if they are not willing to jump on the solution horse with me. I hopped  out of bed, threw some water on my face, made that key first pot of coffee, and while it was brewing I sat with myself, meditated for ten minutes, stretched for five minutes, and thought to myself, “Wealth, Health, and Abundance for all, but first, for me”.

As I was telling my number one coffeetalker about my step forward, she said a statement that made me laugh and think at the same time…

“You are not a train, You are a Car, you can turn at anytime, even all the way around, You have brakes, and gas, You must constantly be aware of when and how to use both, and if You are unsure of where to go, it’s always best to ask for directions”- Mom

She still amazes me, its funny after thirty-one years of lessons, she always gives perfect direction.

If you are not on the right track, sometimes stopping, getting an idea of where you want to go, and even asking for directions will get you to an even better place than you had anticipated, today I am in a better place than I thought I could be…. 

My Heart is with You on your Journey,

Lizzy