Maybe America is what happens when the cookie is never enough.

Interesting, how Pete talks about how we start at the earliest of ages, learning that if we are not feeling good, something external will fix it.

A treat
a toy
a cookie
designer jeans
a car
a big house
a beer
a case of beer
a bigger house
invade a country?

This paradigm of finding something in the outside world to make us right in our inside world can be argued to be the source of many problems we face, obesity, addiction, annoying devotion to a particular sports team, a loud coffee can exhaust, low self esteem and all it’s wonderful side effects . . . .

I don’t know about how to teach a crying child who wants a cookie how to have the existential “ah haa” moment realizing that the cookie isn’t really going to result in true happiness, but it sure is an interesting question. Most chubby little babies look like buddha, perhaps they can find inner peace and well being and actually be buddhas.

Are we creating a society of increasingly externally gratified persons who will just keep searching and searching the world for happiness when all they really need to do is search within?

Respect & Love,

Jammy

Wow, I love this subject. I have been saying for years that causing your child to be obese should be child abuse. Notice I used the word CAUSING. We, as parents, are the cause. Our children are the effect. I am so sick and tired of hearing parents complain. “Bobby” just won’t eat anything else, “Suzy” only likes —– (insert your desired name of something, like donuts or sugar cereal). And then they follow it up with. “I can’t” help it, control them, stop them, get them to,…. A huge array of excuses. What it comes down to.. I’m too lazy to…

I’m sure that I am touching a nerve on some people, but those are the ones that need this. Here is the truth. Your children can’t eat what you don’t buy. So what if they throw a fit in the store about not getting what they want. Suck it up. Ignore them and buy what you know it better for them, and leave. After a couple of unsuccessful tries, they will stop the fit throwing. And yes, there will be relapses. They will see a new commercial and try the fit again the next time, but here is what you need to say. “I said NO”

Do you think you are harming them by saying “NO”? Nope, you are harming them by saying “YES”!

Your children won’t eat what isn’t in your home. For example, some kids are snackers. I have one. So my fridge is filled with grapes, carrots, tomatos, WATER,…. They are CHILDREN. You are the PARENT. Your job it to protect them.

Why would you say yes to something that causes harm. Rat poison, cleaners, chemicals… those poison our children, so at a small age, we put locks on our cabinets and tell our children no,no, that is bad, it will hurt you. Not a big deal, right. So instead we fill them with crap that hurts them. Causing obesity, diabetes, thyroid problems, knee pain, low self esteem…. an endless list. Why don’t we tell them NO to the bad overindulgant food? We are poisoning our children!

Please don’t think I am preaching, being self righteous. I have two children. Both that love pastries, and candy, and cake, and pop….But here is the kicker. I only allow them on occasions, and then in small increments. Then they are special. I am teaching my children not to over indulge, not to turn to food, not to become obese! I struggle with my weight, a large number of my family does. But MY CHILDREN DON”T AND THEY WON”T. As parents our job is to give them the tools they need to succeed. I am giving them these tools. Self control, and appreciation. Self control is a tool that will work in any situation through life. School, work, anywhere. and so is Appreciation. They appreciate something special. If you give your kid a plate cake everyday, then why be excited to have birthday cake. If you give them fast food everyday, then what is a special occasion (probably a home cooked meal). OUR CHILDREN ARE THE ME GENERATION!!! And WE are CAUSING the problem.

I have chosen not to put my children in a bad situation, thus the child abuse comment at the beginning of this comment. If you are putting your children is a bad situation, it’s neglect and abuse. So Stop! Put the crap back on the grocery shelf, back out of the drive through, and dump out the can of pop. Pick up some fruit, fill a glass of water, and go on a walk!-Kate

“Hi my name is Pete and I have addictions.”

I am a smoker, coffee and alcohol drinker. Out of all of them smoking is defiantly the addiction. How did I get this way? Like all Americans I was taught two things from our culture; one, immediate reward compared to long term is easier and acceptable. Two, if you don’t like the way to feel, consume something to make you feel different. Of the two, I think the latter is more pervasive and subtle in our society, so I am going to delve into that and save the first for another day.

My ex-wife laughed one day because she overheard me talking to our infant son. He had been crying and as I gave him a bottle I said, “here, at least this will make you feel different.” Okay, I had read it somewhere in a book and applied it to my baby. But that is what we do here in our culture, we find ways to avoid unpleasantness by basically changing the subject. We assume that it will make us feel better or even happy but really all we do is assert another sense to make us feel different. I feel rejected and hurt; so I eat some ice cream now I feel full. I feel like a failure in my marriage; so I have sex with someone at a bar now I feel desirable. I feel like a looser; so I do a line of coke and now I feel like a winner. Think about why some people buy excessive shoes, outfits, boats, etc. This all stems from when we were little and we were asked, “Do you want a cookie? It will make you feel better.” It does not make us feel better, because it has not solved what is making us feel bad. If this is the only defense mechanism we know as adults what else can we possible teach our children?

Unfortunately Liz you plea will not produce the effect that you desire. Instead of waking them up, they will feel guilty and ashamed. Those feelings are very unpleasant and they have only one defense mechanism to cope…-Pete

Today I am thankful for a quiet weekend…. J and I have had visitors for the last few weekends, and as much as we have loved every minute of them, this weekend I was most thankful for the quiet moments alone with my friend.

Saturday- Laid in bed for atleast 80% of the day… Did not say much, just enjoyed being silent together… Then dinner at Baccus Nibbles, which was OUTSTANDING, great conversation, and back home for an early retirement to bed….

Sunday-We enjoyed a few cups of coffee while laughing at our disaster of a govenment on the news, and then some mindless show called Talk Soup…. Then off to take our roommate to the Dog Park where we ran into a few of Herc’s friends (other dogs). There we walked for a long while and got some fresh air while laughing at other people getting freaked out about Hercules’s size. We then dropped off our roommate and headed to the Grocery, Hardware Store,  and my favorite the Atrium, where I get to walk around and see the million different plants and flowers that I love…. I finally got a Lilac bush, I am so proud. The grocery went smoothly for a Sunday, no sceaming kids OR parents. Then home to plant my bush and a few other flowers to finish off the front garden….. J is down building a cabinet to finish our livingroom, and I am up here, writing, boy am I a lucky woman.

The weekend finishes strong, just as it started…. Lovely.

Thankful….

Less can certainly be more….

Today when I walked into Starbucks I saw what I might find most offensive in Parenting…..

Why is it that overweight parents don’t mind killing their children? 

I walked into Starbucks today on my way to the grocery store (always better to have coffee with you at the grocery, curbs your hunger), I saw a woman that was probably 250 pounds, and I need not discribe her height, because unless she was 8 foot tall (which she wasn’t) at any normal height she is grossly over weight. This was not anything that offended me, I learned to ignore obesity a long time ago, sure it is the powerful ship that is sinking our nation, I just choose daily not to be on the ship. I simply feel sorry when I see someone that won’t stop eating. I have stopped giving random advise, even when asked, portion control, exercise, blah, blah, blah, everyone knows what cures this killer, but still it never stops.

Behind this oversized woman was a little boy about my niece Alex’s age. You could tell that he was a well behaved child, based on his general demeanor. She had already made her selections when I stepped up to order my Tall Latte, when I did move up to the counter a parade of pastries past by my nose, the clerk handing them to the mother. The pastries were oversized just like every other portion ordered in America today. So between ordering and picking up my prized Latte, I went to the washroom as I often do to not waste any time.

By the time I got back, this little boy had consumed the better part of the “way too big” pastry. When I looked at them, they were not talking, just eating, and a feeling of sadness came over me.

Here she has this darling little boy or what should be a little boy, truth be told he had me by I am sure ten pounds, and he now has a weight problem. Why?

My judgement is of ignorance. Can someone help me understand why these mothers who are overweight themselves cast the same hell upon the child?

A mothers love is stonger than any love, but we see these children killed by the one who is supposed to love them more than anyone else. Does sugar equal love? With all the information at our fingertips; how can these children get left behind, and if the mother will not fight for them, who will?

According to  Alvin Poussaint, M.D. 20% of our children in this country are obese.

If 20% of our children had lets say Polio we’d be freaking out. Why are we not freaking out now? Obesity leads to diabetes…..  Which can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, kidney disease, stroke, limb amputations, and blindness. Okay, this is freaking me out….. The only thing that I can say to everyone is “HELP”!

What are we blaming right now?

1- Video Games

2- Fast Food

3- T.V.

Those are the major ones, but I am going to step up and say unless one of you guys can convince me differently, this is the parents fault. 100%.

20% of our children are struggling, and that means 20% of our parents just don’t care, and if they say they do care, they don’t care enough.

Here is my advise-

1- STOP SUGAR

Both the parents and the children… Only special occasions (you might want to give your child the gift of not expecting special occasions all the time, this will be a lot easier when they grow up and special occasions rarely happen anyway, that means once a week. That is it.

2- Stop Fast Food

It is so crappy for you both, just stop eating it. Once a month maybe treat yourselves, if ever!  It will literally kill you and kill your kid, watch the movie “Super Size Me”. If you can eat Fast Food after that, maybe you need counsiling for the addiction.

3- Get Moving

In the morning, before you lose your will to let your child live (a healthy long life that is), go on a walk, dance for twenty minutes, hoola hoop for twenty minutes, DO SOMETHING. Do something in the morning to remind yourself all day long that you are resposible for that person you brought into this world. The world can be somewhat crappy sometimes, why make it harder than it already is?

4- Watch the show “Honey We’re Killing the Kids” 

Watch it with your child. Make them a part of your new healthy life. The truth is you are killing your child both in body and spirit.

I have noticed if the parent is overweight the child is likely to be too. Now I have no idea if parents just don’t get that if it isn’t working for themselves it probably won’t work for the child either, or if they don’t think that it is wrong to put the kid through the same thing they go through. The health hazards alone would be worth stopping for, but that isn’t the worst of it, they either get teased to DEATH at school, they become a bully so they don’t get teased, or they make fun of themselves all day so no one has the chance to rip them apart. NONE of these are healthy mindsets to be in. You are setting them up for major failure as an adult.

If they get teased all day, they will have to prove themselves for years after school to become balanced. Not to mention how “fat” people are treated as an adult, even in the workplace. I am not saying that it is fair, I am saying that is how it is.

If they are a Bully, that crap doesn’t work in the real world, so they won’t know how to solve anything when they get out into it. Problem solving is not beating up or threatening someone in the real world. We have all had that boss, the one that doesn’t last long, remember him/her? I do, he was always kindly referred to as the “asshole”.

If they make fun of themselves all the time, the most powerful person they have influencing them is themselves, they start to believe the things they say…. If all they are doing is putting themselves down they will be down. Down is no where to start in the real world. Down may be where you are, please for your childs sake, get back up, fight, if for no one else, your child.

PLEASE STOP PARENTS… YOUR CHILDREN ARE WORTH MORE THAN THIS!!!!!

HELP!

Your opinions are GREATLY needed…. HELP me understand…..

Lizzy
 

The two main characters of the story are Amir, a well-to-do Afghan boy, and Hassan, a Hazara the son of Amir’s father’s servant, Ali. The boys spend their days in a peaceful Kabul, kite fighting, roaming the streets and being boys. Amirs father, Baba, loves both the boys, but seems often to favor Hassan for being more manly. He is critical of Amir. Amirs mother died in childbirth, and Amir fears his father blames him for his mothers death. However, he has a kind father figure in the form of Rahim Khan, Babas friend, who understands Amir better, and is supportive of his interest in writing stories.

A notoriously violent older boy with Nazi sympathies, Assef, blames Amir for socializing with a Hazara, according to Assef an inferior race that should only live in Hazarajat. He prepares to attack Amir with his brass knuckles, but Hassan bravely stands up to him, threatening to shoot Assef in the eye with his slingshot. Assef and his henchmen back off, but Assef says he will take revenge.

Hassan is a “kite runner” for Amir, he runs to fetch kites Amir has defeated by cutting their strings. He knows where the kite will land without even seeing it. One triumphant day, Amir wins the local tournament, and finally Baba’s praise. Hassan goes to run the last cut kite, a great trophy, for Amir saying “For you, a thousand times over.” Unfortunately, Hassan runs into Assef and his two henchmen. Hassan refuses to give up Amir’s kite, so Assef extracts his revenge, assaulting and anally raping him. Wondering why Hassan is taking so long, Amir searches for Hassan and hides when he hears Assef’s voice. He witnesses what happens to Hassan but is too scared to help him. Afterwards, for some time Hassan and Amir keep a distance from each other. When Hassan wants to pick up their friendship again Amir holds it off. When people ask what is the matter, Amir reacts indifferently. He feels ashamed, and is frustrated by Hassan’s saint-like behavior and worries that Baba loves Hassan more, and would love him even more if he knew what happened to Hassan and Amir’s cowardly inaction.

To force Hassan to leave, Amir frames him as a thief, and Hassan falsely confesses. Baba forgives him, despite the fact that, as he explained earlier, he believes that “there is no act more wretched than stealing”. Hassan and his father Ali, to Baba’s extreme sorrow, leave anyway. Hassan’s departure frees Amir of the daily reminder of his cowardice and betrayal, but he still lives in their shadow.

A short while later, the Russians invade Afghanistan; Amir and Baba escape to Peshawar, Pakistan and then to Fremont, California, where Amir and Baba, who lived in luxury in an expensive mansion in Afghanistan, settle in a run-down apartment and Baba begins work at a gas station. Amir eventually takes classes at a local community college to develop his writing skills. Every Sunday, Baba and Amir make extra money selling used goods at a flea market in San Jose. There, Amir meets Soraya Taheri and her family; Soraya’s father has contempt of Amir’s literary aspiration. Baba has lung cancer but is still capable to do Amir a big favor: he asks Soraya’s father permission for Amir to marry her. He agrees and the two marry. Shortly thereafter Baba dies. Amir and Soraya learn that they cannot have children.

Amir embarks on a successful career as a novelist. Fifteen years after they said goodbye, Amir receives a call from Rahim Khan, who is dying from an illness, who asks him to come to Pakistan. He enigmatically tells Amir “there is a way to be good again”. Amir goes.

From Rahim Khan, Amir learns the fates of Ali and Hassan. Ali was killed by a land mine. Hassan had a wife and a son, named Sohrab, and had returned to Babas house as a caretaker at Rahim Khans request. One day the Taliban ordered him to give it up and leave, but he refused, and was murdered, along with his wife. And the secret truth about Hassan is that Ali was not his father. He is the son of Baba, and Amir’s half-brother. Finally, Rahim Khan reveals that the true reason he has called Amir to Pakistan is to go to Kabul to rescue Hassan’s son, Sohrab, from an orphanage.

Amir returns to Taliban-controlled Kabul with a guide, Farid, and search for Sohrab at the orphanage. However, he does not find Sohrab there. The director of the orphanage tells them that a Taliban official has recently taken him. He tells him to go to a football match and the man with the sunglasses will be the man who took Sohrab.

Amir goes and secures an appointment with him at his home. There he finds out that the Taliban official is actually his childhood nemesis Assef. Sohrab is made to dance dressed in women’s clothes, and it seems Assef might have been sexually assaulting him (Sohrab later says: “I’m so dirty and full of sin. The bad man and the other two did things to me”). Assef agrees to relinquish him, but only if Amir can beat him in a fight to death, with Sohrab as the prize. Assef brutally beats Amir, but Amir is saved when Sohrab uses his slingshot to shoot out Assef’s left eye, fulfilling the threat his father had made years before.

Amir tells Sohrab of his plans to take him back to America and possibly adopt him, and promises that he will never be sent to an orphanage again. Sohrab is emotionally damaged and refuses to speak. This continues on for about a year until his frozen emotions are temporarily thawed when Amir reminisces about his father, Hassan, while kite flying. Amir shows off some of Hassans tricks, and Sohrab begins to interact with Amir again. In the end Sohrab only shows a lopsided smile, but Amir takes to it with all his heart as he runs the kite for Sohrab, saying, “For you, a thousand times over.” This is a play on the last words spoken to Amir by Hassan before the rape, and denotes the sense of atonement that surrounds the novel. -Obtained onimdb.com

Today I am thankful for nothing. This sounds as if I am not thankful at all, but truly I think “nothing” often gets the shaft when looking at what we have. I have tons of friends and a loving family, but today I am thankful for the nothings.

I am thankful that nothing is wrong, nothing is happening, and nothing is hindering our happiness. Nothing. I woke this morning and thought to myself ”what is wrong?” and I said to myself “nothing”.

So my heart goes out to the people out there with “something”, something that is hurting them, something that is making them unhappy, something that is challanging their soul, and I pray that there is “nothing” for them soon.  

Here is to “NOTHING”

Wow this is a really good post Liz. There is an awful lot here to go over, I would like to see it broken down a bit as separate posts because I don’t think I can comment on all the issues.

As to Republicans, I usually shut them up with a quote that a co-worker said to me when I was in construction building a high rise in Chicago. He pointed to a homeless guy sleeping in the ally and said to me “you’re closer to being him than you are Bill Gates.” Generally, everyone is closer to being homeless than they are to being Bill Gates. The real Republicans are the uber rich and all the other Republicans want to be uber rich. If you believe in the trickle down theory, go ahead and hang out with the rich, try to catch a drop of sweat from them like a little bird. I know the rich don’t sweat, because they are rich.

The impression I get from your post is “What do you really want from this interaction?” I find that most people have no clue as to what they really want from an interaction. What they say they want certainly does not fit with their behavior because their behavior does not give them what they want. However, I have learned that people do behave in a way that they get what they want, it’s just more of a sub-conscious emotional desire that they have not identified. How many times have we gotten what we said we wanted only to be dissatisfied with it, that it did not fulfill our expectation? What you are suggesting is really difficult for most people because you are asking them to confront their motivation, which brings into question, if they really “should” want what they really want. I am sorry, I have to stop writing here, this topic could be a whole book.-Peter

 THANK GOODNESS for Careington!

Okay…. So yeah, I have never been one to go to the dentist regularly…. I not just HATE the dentist, but they are SO expensive…. So, needless to say…. It ALWAYS catches up with you!

Whether or not you have countless cavities, or just a cleaning that needs done, or in my case a root canal this is an expensive little endeavor. I went to a dentist FINALLY, found out I needed a lot of work done, and went home and cried….

When I woke up the next morning I decided to take a different approach… I was going to crack the case of “dentistry”. I started by doing a little bit of research on an affordable plan…. See, I found it odd that when you go to the dentist you are expected to ”pay for services rendered”, but you have NO IDEA how much it will cost, or if they are overcharging you. Even if they tell you how much it will be no one really knows the “market price” of a dental service.

I moved on…. I found what I consider the “best” deal in dentistry…..

Careington Dental - 500 Series Dental Plan

www.1dental.com

They give you a list of pricing that the dentist must go by to be in the plan. To give you an idea about how much money this saves…. The first dentist I went to Charged me $142.00 for a x-ray and an exam, The doctor under the Careington plan charged me $61.00 for the same services but included a CLEANING and POLISH. Not only that, the first dentist quoted me $1850.00 for the root canal and crown, and the quote with the Carington Plan is less than $1000.00 that is including the lab fees! It costs me $11.95 a month for J and I, but as you can see,   well worth it…..

 Check it out….. It is the “best deal” of the year so far!

By the way…. It also gives you discounts on Vision and Presciptions, haven’t tried it out yet, but it is an added bonus! 

To place more value on one life than another is to put yourself in the position of being God. And that’s a position that none of us would really want to be in if we really think about it.
To put more value on one peoples lives than another peoples lives, is a simple and cruel person’s way to justify war and the loss of life that will result.
To place equal value on all lives is the enlightened person’s challenge that leads to peace and harmony. This is the road that is roughest to travel, but the only road to the possibility of hope.

Ok, I have found a lifesaver. I don’t even know the brand name, but I’m sure there are multiple companies that make something similar. Here it is… A whole house deodorizer. Think car freshener for your house, but better. This wonderful gadget hooks to your a furnace filter and distributes scent through out your home. It’s not a strong scent, but refreshing. I have two children with asthma so no sprays will work for me, but this is so nice. I normally dread the use of the air conditioning because the house will be closed up and get the stale feeling, but this resolves that issue. So here’s my vote…try it! Then let me know what you think.-Kate

Kate, A lot of people are wondering what this product is called…. Do you have a name yet, or where did you buy it?

I’d Rather Be “Rich” Than “Right”

This is my ALL time favorite saying. Harry Freidman said it in one of his “many” sales trainings which I was lucky enough to be enlightened by. This is such a valuable statement, yet most people don’t understand it, and certainly don’t live by it. This concept is very profitable in business, mainly because the EGO makes so many decisions in our workforce, the EGO makes us long to be “right” all the time. This concept accounts for all the “good” and bad decisions made in the workforce or at the very least 99% of them. For those “leaders” and “leadees” out in the market that “get” this concept have a strong tendency to succeed, and for those who do not, they usually fail, and are miserable in the process. This goes for personal life too, but for now we will keep it in business mode….  

Now, who hasn’t had a boss, or a direct report that needs to prove CONSTANTLY that they know more than you do? They are always “right” and you are always “wrong”, and even when it proves beyond a reasonable doubt that you were in fact “right”, they blame it on wrong information, or a “wrong” circumstance. Either way, “someone else was wrong”; with the wrong information they were given, they still made the “right” decision based on the “wrong” something or someone that they were fed.  

Who hasn’t had a customer say “the customer is always right”?

WE ALL KNOW THAT THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT, and here is how we ALL know it, WE ARE ALL CUSTOMERS, AND AT SOME POINT WE HAVE BEEN WRONG…. You do the math… Therefore we dig a little deeper into the statement….

The reason this statement worked so well in the service industry is it says to our Ego, “hey, come here, and I will give you your most prized possession… YOU WILL BE RIGHT 24/7… Never EVER wrong”. This was brilliant of who ever made this statement up, I seriously doubt it was created in the “broad”sense I am suggesting, but what better way to get people into your business, than to tell them that they are “perfection” if they only shop at YOUR store, they are basically a temporary “Christ Child”… For the thirty minutes that it takes to buy a car these days. SMART!

Let US learn from the used car salesmen that made this up…. If you let people be “right” instead of “human”, they will flock toward you. They will throw money at you. They will take anything you give them. They will be loyal to you…. Bosses and Clients together will be drawn to you, not because you are misleading or manipulating them, but they will respect your humility and it will create an environment for positive change and advancement.

Who hasn’t found themselves making a stink about something that is completely irrelevant to the successes of the business, or to the quality of the work environment?

The best example of this I can give is I was sitting with a few self-named “republicans” a few months ago, discussing politics and the “rights” and “wrongs” in our government  system. Thinking back now, anyone who has gone to the trouble and through the commitment of naming themselves a “party” most likely will not change their mind because of something that I say, especially when I am saying that they are wrong and I am right. I have not gone through the trouble of naming myself a democrat nor a republican, mostly because I am afraid that I will stop seeking thoughts of my own.   Secretly,  I feel this is what  happens to most of these “party joiners”. Furthermore, I feel like it is the easy way out ; a chance to not have to contemplate.  I almost consider it a sorority or fraternity of some sort. All of that aside, I felt this overwhelming need to tell them that they were wrong, and dissect what their thought process problem was. In the end, they ended up hating me. As a matter of fact, I ruined a relationship, not only for myself, but for someone I love. The truth is, I was right about everything I said, and still believe that they were wrong about everything that they said but, instead of letting life teach them a lesson, in the end life taught me a lesson - Don’t stand up and fight for something that is not my battle, and do not try to change minds, minds can’t be changed, they only change themselves. Their minds were changed alright, just not about tax cuts and religious rights, but about me.

Lesson? Do not try to change minds, they only change themselves

This in the business world would be a great example of when you get a new boss, and he/she thinks that she has a MONUMENTAL new way of doing something, and you after working there for however long you have, know FOR SURE it won’t work, no way, no how….. Sometimes the lesson is not yours to learn, it is time for life to teach your new boss- don’t be afraid to let life humble someone for a change. Same with your employees, they are sure it will work, they know they are right; if it doesn’t hurt your bottom line, let life teach them a lesson. Same with a customer or client, if you have understood where they are coming from, told them your concerns, let them fly, they will respect you, and come back to you.  

In business there is a technique to use empathy, use statements like
“I understand”

“I appreciate”

“I recognize”

“I value”

This is a way to tell the customer, boss, or employee that you “get” what they are saying, you know where they are coming from, on to the next…..

Then you are to say “My concern is….” this is a good way to acknowledge that there is an issue and transition to your “issue”. Never saying words like “but, except, excluding, bar, however, although, nevertheless, apart from”, which then discounts your acceptance of their “issue”.  Acceptance is a fancier word for being “right”.

This is a GREAT way to communicate with people that you are trying to make positive results with. Especially with the Boss that signs your paycheck, does it truly matter to you if you are “right” and he is “wrong”? (Unless there is an integrity issue, different story)

Does it matter if you know everything, and he/she knows nothing? No, he/she still signs you paycheck, and in the end, he will advance the person that makes his/her EGO feel better, it is just natural.

Perfect example… You are a teenager, your friends are all telling you that you are “right”, and your mother is telling you that you are “wrong”… Who do you want to hang with?  

Take it into personal life, same thing… Have you ever had a fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend that ends up out of hand because they JUST REFUSE to acknowledge that YOU WERE RIGHT and they WERE WRONG?

How can they not see this? How can they be so stupid?

Step back, you probably are “right” but rather than them be “wrong”, they will fight you to the death.

Boyfriend isn’t paying enough attention to you, you deserve more than this, rather than saying “Hey, I would like to see you a few more times this week if possible” you say “You are a bad boyfriend, you never spend time with me (i.e. you are wrong)” If he backs down now, he is admitting he was wrong, he doesn’t back down. Now he has to prove that he is right, instead of giving his energy to your needs. Non-Productive Conversation.

(NPC)

NPC- this is when you say a statement and rather than it moving a situation forward, it stays stagnant or reverses.

There are endless examples of NPC in the world today floating around…..

STOP NPC!

The Human Ego (or in this case we will call it brain, although I am sure by how strong the drive is, it has to do with the heart too) is constantly fighting to be “CORRECT”. This

Force is probably the strongest in our society today. There have been Wars started and carried on, just because someone cannot say that they were “wrong”, that is what we are dealing with. Families have broken apart, and businesses ripped to shreds, countries crumble, and hearts are broken everyday, all because there is something inside of us that cannot admit to being “not right”.

This is all very known…. books are written everyday about how to adjust our thinking this way.

Why not with all the knowledge of this “Plague” that damns our land do we NOT make the necessary steps to make it “work” for us? Why is it so hard to say…? “You’re right”

Taking this Personally…..

Have you ever been verbally attacked? You know, one of those where you know with 100% of your soul that you are not to blame….

First Reaction? Tell them EXACTLY how “wrong” they are….

Second Reaction? Tell them why you are so “right”…..

Third Reaction? Clean up the carnage…..

Now, when your core is attacked and you feel as though you are the only one that will stick up for you, ask yourself the question…. Would I rather be “rich” than “right”?

If you would rather be “right” than “rich” (meaning have them as a friend or family member) then let them have it, they are not of enough value anyway to you…..

I believe that under no circumstances are we able to change one another. We are only able to mold ourselves into what we want to be, which brings me to why argue and fight?, why prove to someone that you believe that they should change when they are the only one that can give that to themselves, yet our Ego steps up to the plate first?

Sometimes you have got to fire friends, fire bosses, fire customers, fire boyfriends and girlfriends, even fire family members, you do, they are toxic….. Sometimes the pain that they serve to you is unbearable, and YOU make that choice, it is not them. That is your “right”, and the only “right” you need, know that you are in charge of your own finality. You have the power, now all we need is the ability to know when to use it. Humility is the answer. Humility = Rich…..

I am very interested in your thoughts on this Subject; I believe it could make a huge difference in the world we live in. DON’T TELL ME I AM WRONG!!!