To place more value on one life than another is to put yourself in the position of being God. And that’s a position that none of us would really want to be in if we really think about it.
To put more value on one peoples lives than another peoples lives, is a simple and cruel person’s way to justify war and the loss of life that will result.
To place equal value on all lives is the enlightened person’s challenge that leads to peace and harmony. This is the road that is roughest to travel, but the only road to the possibility of hope.- Bill

Wow, this is an outstanding answer, and I am so thankful to hear these words. It is hard to take the “high road”, but hope is invaluable. Thank you for giving me HOPE, I knew you would come through! I would never want to be GOD, she has such a tough job!

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy 

Class has nothing to do with MONEY!

The reason this word has been associated with money for so long, is because it used to discribe your social or economic state i.e. “working class”. 

There are more distinct definitions of this word, that we need to focus upon

1)Class- Grade or Quality

2) Class- Excellence, as of style

What makes us have class?

I would like to know what you think, I know what I think “class” is,  I am eager to coffee talk with you about your thoughts.

Yours,

Lizzy 

CoffeeTalkers!

Over the week in Florida I had a discussion about lives, and what makes one more valuable than another. The discussion turned out to be more hostile than I thought it would, but the meat and potatoes of it was the value of a life. We were discussing China vs. America, but that is just the inspiration of this thought. At first, I made the broad statement that all lives we were the same, and for the debates concern, I stuck with that, after the evenings talk was over it hit me, what makes you more valuable than someone else, really?

I still believe that when we are born and take our first breathes, we are worth the same, we are a new soul with the same possibilities, but as we grow older and make choices based on situations, and facts, we start to either be valueable or not.

Value? To each of us this is a different definition, but is there a equation that is iron clad to make you a valuable human being?

For me value makes things more positive on our earth, it won’t strip anything of worth. Money has always been a scale on which we can monitor value, but it has ripped friends, families, companies, and countries apart. Today it causes humans to murder, steal, lie, and cheat, and yet we still use it to establish a value in something.

The things that I feel valuable is Love, Honor, Friendship, and Trust. The way you can monitor these things is the amout of love, honor, friendship and trust that you give, unlike money, it is not based on how much you get, but how much you are able to provide.

My question to you Coffee Talkers is; What do you find most Valuable? How do you monitor how valuable you and others are?  What makes one life more Valuable than the other? What is Value to you?

My heart is with you on your journey,

Lizzy 

I was in Florida last week, and once again we had great results on Coffee Talk over the last week, I look forward to coffee talking with all of you right away….. I did a lot of thinking beside that ocean again this time, and have some questions for all of you… Coming Soon!

Lizzy 

Coffee Talkers

Are you satisfied with your work situation?

Over the years I have been trained and developed by the best of the best to get what I want in the work place. I was sitting at a spa the other day getting ready to have my eyebrows done, when a woman was sitting nervously to my left, I striked up a conversation as usual, and found out that she was getting ready to meet with her direct report to find out how much she was going to be paind hourly. The spa was moving from a commission only to hourly plus commission. I offered her two negotiation tools and she perked right up, walked in with confidence, and got what she wanted.

If you are not getting what you want in your work place, feel free to ask some advise. I have mentors and vast experience in “politics” at work, if you have a hurdle that you need help getting over please let me know! 

My heart is with you on your journey,

Liz   

John Lennon states in the song “with a little help from my friends” that he “needs somebody to love.” Not that he himself needs to be loved but rather he has “love” to give. I think that makes all the difference in the world. So often we want others to provide the good feelings in our lives simply because we have not figured out how to do ourselves. Whenever this happens, the end result is always betrayal; it is not their responsibility and too great of an expectation for anyone. When you change from being a receiver with standards to a giver who acknowledges those deserving; then you realized that there are people who you want to be closer too are all around you. This can only happen when you have some sort of love to give.-Pete

I could not have possibly begun to say this any better- Beautifully written! I think in the end, that is what we long for; someone to love, and what if we gave some of that love to ourselves?-Lizzy
 

You find yourself at dinner, with someone you are not related to….. You have to go to the Bathroom…. WHY DO WE FEEL OBLIGATED TO GIVE TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

“PARDON ME, I must use the ladies room”- Okay, now we have just made our guest think about the fact that we have got to take a piss, or even worse…. Why too much info?

“Excuse me for just one moment” - We could be getting up to go trade stocks on our Blackberry… They have no idea, and they don’t need to have an idea…. TMI, it’s like a epidemic in this society… STOP telling people what you have to do, just politely excuse yourself, and Thank them for waiting when you get back…. Pet Peeve? Maybe?

Men,

Why can’t I find a man with pulse and a job?-Kari

Since our Men haven’t stepped up to this plate, I thought that I would go ahead and write to this question….. This is a GREAT question, and one that EVERY woman has asked themselves at some point, maybe not exactly that way but this is a world wide frustration…. Men have let women down for years, and visa versa…. So a few suggestions for you, my first question is How happy are you with yourself?

1) Figure out what is bothering you about yourself and usually that will play a huge role in what men you are pulling in… The fact is men (and women) can see your faults as clearly as you can, so if you are focusing on a fault or insecurity, they can see it too. Men do love “bitches” (if you have read the book), so if you feel comforatable with yourself, and being with yourself most people will too.

2) What do you want from a man? A pulse and a job are not attributes, you need higher standards, if you start too low you will get a lower result. The fact is, people who ask for too little get too little, it is as simple as that. You deserve a castle, a prince, and royal treatment, start there, and maybe you won’t end up with Prince Charming, but maybe someone that is charming, see asking for too much allows you to land somewhere in the middle….

Make a list of the top 5 things you need from a man, then don’t accept anything less.

3) What don’t you want from a man? This is much easier to answer, figure this out, and when someone has a poor quality that you have listed turn and walk away, DON’T tell them why (it’s not your job to fix them) just move on…

4) Go on a lot of dates, this will teach you your likes and dislikes.

5) Don’t date until you are happy with yourself, it’s like going to a party with a bad attitude, you won’t have fun, no one else will have fun, and you will not be invited back… No one wants emotional baggage to carry for you, and a gentleman can always see it, and a gentleman will feel obligated to carry it for you, he will run like hell, and you won’t know why.

6) Take yourself on dates, and treat yourself like a queen. This will get you prepared for the man that comes along and treats you like one. Nothing is worse to a gentleman than a woman that doesn’t know how to take being spoiled a little. This will make you happy with dating yourself, and you won’t need a man, and then they will be magnetized. Haven’t you ever noticed that when you don’t need something, it is always there.

7) Fall in Love with you. If you love you, people will be drawn to you. Trust me, I know.

There is so much that can be suggested in this category. There is no better thought than landing the “big fish” and living “happily ever after”, the fact is you can be happy and the “big fish” might just want to land you.   

Thank you for the coffee talk, my heart is with you on your journey… Until our next coffee talk,

Lizzy

Great advice Lizzy girl, I have been learning from you for years and I love that you have coffee talk so that I can continue to remind myself about my strengths and focus less on my weaknesses. Because of your help I really truly understand how to love myself and take care of myself first. Because as we all know-”Ain’t no one happy if mama ain’t happy”! Love you girl.-Stephanie

Coffee Talk Members….

We have had an outstanding week for Coffee Talk…

In the matter of 4 Days, we have had 96 visits, from all across the country. Almost half are new visitors and half are return visitors… This is amazing, I am so thankful that we are getting our coffee talk out there….

I look forward to more Coffee Talk with everyone….

 Lizzy!

What I have discovered while ago, is that we simply treat the people whom are closest to us the worst. So often we take advantage of family, friends, and lovers because we know they forgive, or they will be there for us. While, complete strangers would never tolerate our behaviors so we give them respect. We eventually take for granted the love that has been given to us and closeness that has developed. Then over time, we wonder why distance has grown. Having realized this, true friendship and love earns true respect and responsibility for me. I am now more willing to lose a stranger than someone who has taken the time to know me.-Pete A Murray

In my few bad relationships, during the hard times, I have always made one request “treat me like your gas station attendant”. That is all I ask. I totally agree that we have a tendency to show our ugliest sides to the ones we love. I think in my early adulthood, when looking back, it was myself that I treated the worst, and it was me who paid the highest prices. It seems that we fall in love with ourselves last….. There is no better feeling than when you realize you love you…  It seems to free you to walk toward or away from any situation…. That is true freedom…

I LOVE LIZZY!- Lizzy 

Hi Lizzy,
Bill told me about your site.
What do you think about working mothers? I think I work too much and make too little. Sometimes I think it would easier to not work and be a bum. That’s not going to happen. How do you suggest I balance work work work and having a house, a kid, a fishtank and I cat to keep up with?
 

Dear Beth,

Thank you for coffee talking with me! Balance is a thorn in everyone’s side, if you are winning one battle, you feel like you are losing another. Just like in war, if you fight one battle at a time, you have a better chance of winning. As with most parents you are constantly walking the line between providing financial stability and emotional stability.

Raising your child is your most important job, but that requires money, and as attractive as becoming a bum may look today, pushing a shopping cart down Main Street with a kid, a fish tank and a cat, just doesn’t paint the picture of what anyone wants for the future.

Divide your life into Categories

When you try to make everyone happy all the time, no one is happy, and everything seems to be “half assed”.

Even though you have a business that you are running, make yourself an employee, set times to be at work, and times to leave. Literally and Mentally “Clock Out”. This will allow you to give work 100% and your family 100%.

This is quality vs. quantity, the age old crisis, quality always wins.

You deserve quality, so does your child, and your company, if you spread the peanut butter too thin, it turns out to be a dry crappy sandwich. When you are at work, work hard, when you are at home, love hard.

Stop Keeping up with the Jones’s

Decide what is important to you, write it down on a piece of paper, and hang it on your fridge. This way you think about what you want and stop working for things you don’t want. In today’s society we have a tendency to “keep up”, therefore we lose sight of what is important to us, and our children. We were dirt poor when I was a child, and I can tell you now, I am thankful that my mom didn’t give me everything I thought I wanted. All my friends had the latest Nintendo, beautiful cloths, and money to do what ever they wanted, the only thing they didn’t have was a mom that loved them like crazy, and knew them as a human. These days we want to give our children every “thing”, when they truly don’t really need “things”, they need love, and a little food every once in a while.

Which brings me to sports, hobbies, and commitments, these kids have a busier social schedule than I did in my early twenties (which was outrageous, I could show you ATM receipts). It is important for them to be involved, but not in everything, let them pick one thing that they really do well, and help them perfect it. We wonder why this newest generation has no focus, but we put them in the position of being a jack of all extra curricular activities and master of none.

Again its quality vs. quantity, quality wins again.

Mothers Unite

There are others like you, in masses. When I was little, I remember a constant circle of “family” friends, one day we would go to a lady named Connie’s house the next we would be at my house, the next at my Aunt Katie’s. My mom formed some sort of mother coalition, so she and her girlfriends got together and helped one another. You are not weak if you ask for help, you are smart. The thing you are searching for is time, quality time. Find a group of mothers that are in similar situations as you are, and present a “Network”. This will allow you to gain some “quality time” for yourself, and give your child the experience to grow up with some other perspectives. There are all kinds of resources, the school, daycare, church, bar, or anywhere else there are humans that struggle with time, and that is everywhere. Have a “girlfriend” coffee talk or wine night, and present the idea of a Mothers Network, these women are struggling too.

Don’t Over Commit to Anything

“No thanks”, the two best words in the English language for freedom. We are not obligated to do anything, stop emotionally attaching yourself to “no”, it’s not a bad word, and it’s not offensive. The fact is, it’s a misconception that the world wants us to do everything, yet we crucify ourselves mentally for not being able to. Just STOP doing everything.

Failure

Stop the “guilt” and it will stop “stopping” you. Guilt is something of a mystery to me, we are the only species that feels it, and it has no positive repercussions on our actions. If you are being the best mother you can be, and the best worker you can be, and the best fish owner you can be, let yourself be.

Final and most important

You gave me several categories of your life, and balancing the kid, the work, the cat, and the fish, and like most women you forgot the most important category, YOU.

This is the best advice I can give you, and I truly believe the most productive, TAKE YOU BACK. Beth, take one hour a day to yourself, I don’t care if you have to get up at 5:00 in the morning to do it. It will be worth more to the quality of your life, than anything that you could do. Think about yourself, how you feel, what you are, and most of all think about the fact that you are the most important thing to take care of, your child, your work, your cat, and your fish all depend on you, and without you taking a little part of you back, none of these things get a quality of care.

Reward yourself with an hour a day, and that hour will reward every single other category in your life. Have a cup of coffee, and realize why the hell you are doing all this to begin with…

My heart is with you on your journey, and I commend you for being a strong woman. Thanks for the Coffee talk, I look forward to next time…. Lizzy